Transcript:
Hey! There’s no chocolate in the house!

It’s the Christmas season. We need to have chocolate and cookies and stuff.

(make/obtain sweets)

These are yummy. It’s hard to stop eating them.

Oh good – they’re gone. Now I don’t have to worry about self-control anymore.

Alternate title: how to make enemies in the church nursery

I don’t like potty humor, except for maybe this one case. But parenthood brings you into certain situations that you wouldn’t discuss otherwise.

Today is such a case.

It’s for a public service, though, not a cheap laugh. I know there is at least one new father who reads this blog, and there are things he might want to know so he doesn’t have to learn the hard way. In order to bring him up to speed, I am publishing this list of foods to avoid giving your child if you will be changing his diaper within the subsequent 24 hours.

• Blue Moon ice cream
• Corn
• Blueberries
• Spinach
• Chili

Apparently the color blue is not easily digested.

And I wonder why we even eat corn since it appears to not be used at all by the body. Surely there must be a better use of one’s energy than eating and attempting to digest corn. Unless maybe it is just exercise.

Parents who have gone through the diaper-changing phase:
Any other foods to avoid?

I inquired at the weigh station about peaches and was told that the next group would go out in about 10 minutes. We could either wait or we could go pick raspberries until then. It didn’t matter to me, so I took a vote among the boys and it was 2-1 in favor of raspberries. So off we went.

This time, they all liked picking raspberries and did a fine job of doing so.

We had a couple of buckets, so we had some sharing issues
(3 boys – 2 buckets = 1 child complaining about not having a bucket).

Eventually, I carried both buckets so that everything would be fair. That meant that all 3 kids were now asking to carry a bucket.

We returned to the weigh station (the minimalist building with the scales and cash registers) to drop off our berries and set out for peaches. The farmer guy was back by then, so he took us and a couple other families out to the peach trees. This time, we got 3 buckets.

The boys had a fun time picking peaches too.

There had been some storms recently, with pretty high winds, so some of the peach trees were blown over or had their branches broken. That was perfect for us, since now the kids could reach most of the peaches.

In fact, they picked too many peaches. We ended up with about 30 pounds of peaches.

We wanted only 20 pounds of peaches ($1.00 / lb, in case you’re wondering), so we left one bucket-full with the farm. They said they would have no problem selling them, so I didn’t feel bad about it. They essentially got free peach-picking labor from us.

The peaches didn’t look the best, with spots and stuff. When you have a 2-year-old picking peaches, you’re not guaranteed to get only good fruit. But they taste fine – at least most of them do.

And now I leave you with a fragment of song lyrics:
If I had my own way, I’d eat peaches every day.

If you know that song, it might be stuck in your head for a while.
And if you don’t recognize the song, don’t worry about it.

The baby was sleeping, so I took the other children.
Last year, the older two did a decent job of picking the berries.
Last year, I had Gamma in a backpack carrier, so he did fine too.

This year, the older two just ran around and played in the open field.
I sent them there after too many complaints about bees and mosquitoes and thorns.

Gamma just stuck by my legs and asked to be picked up or carried or to go home the whole time.

I picked a few pints of raspberries.

The boys got to see some sandhill cranes, which apparently like to frequent the raspberry farm.

And that’s good enough for a while.
We froze about half the raspberries, so we can enjoy them throughout the year.

With weather like that, we figured spring was here. I bought charcoal for the grill, and we were all set for good weather until October.

It snowed yesterday. Not just some-snowflakes-came-down snow, but had-to-clear-the-car-windows type of snow. We had right around an inch of accumulation.

The day before yesterday was Sunday. That’s when the weather made a turn for the worse – high winds and dropping temps.

But we already had plans to grill, so I was out there in 45 degree weather, watching the charcoal and flipping the steaks and hoping that I had enough charcoal to overcome the chilly environment.

The weather wasn’t too bad, except the wind blew the smoke all around. But the steaks turned out very well (thanks to Cooking for Engineers! Now I know how to grill a steak), so it was worth it. Not “very well” as in “well done” (because they were medium), but “very well” as in “nice”.

That’s the problem with the meat-cooking terms – they have double meanings.

Waiter! This steak is well done!
Thank you sir.
No, I wanted it rare!
Yes sir, those are hard to find.

And now I’ll share my pictures so that you can be envious. Here are the steaks (porterhouse):

Here is the corn on the cob (not grilled):

Here is the zucchini (grilled):

And here is a picture of Gamma eating corn on the cob. All the kids love corn on the cob, but Alpha is the only one who voluntarily eats beef. Alpha eats just about anything. He loves asparagus and mushrooms and onions (separately). But that’s a side point. Back to corn:

Rather, I picked raspberries and the children just held the baskets for me.

Maybe there were too many bees buzzing around. I told the boys that they won’t sting you unless you hurt them, but they were very wary of picking after seeing all the bees. And it was very hot. We spent about a half hour picking raspberries, but it felt much, much longer.

Alpha just wanted to go home.

I had to carry Gamma the whole time because I did not want to clean squished raspberries off every surface within his reach. I did set him down at the beginning – because he did a fine job at blueberry picking – to see if he would help with raspberry picking. But it took one raspberry to see the damage he could do.

And Beta just wasn’t interested in picking berries. Worse than that, he was actively taking berries out of the basket and throwing them as far as he could.

I asked him why he was doing that, and he said he was getting rid of the squishy ones. He meant well, trying to weed out the bad berries. But, as Alpha then reminded him, all raspberries are squishy. I told him just to leave all the raspberries alone and I would sort them at home.

We finally finished, after about 20 reminders to the kids that the more berries they pick, the faster we’ll be done and the sooner we can go back home.

Did I mention it was hot?

Back home, I sorted the raspberries and found a stowaway.

I quickly disposed of him, and any raspberries that had any dark fuzzy spots. Those went in the garbage. Any raspberries that were not moldy but were just on the too-ripe side of things I also disposed of. Those went in my belly.

And now, some gratuitous close-up shots of fruit, compliments of the macro setting on my camera…

In case you’re wondering about the trends in U-pick berries: 3.25 lbs. cost $12.50, so that’s about $3.85 per lb. Last year, they cost $3.75/lb. So it looks like raspberries cost more this year, and blueberries cost less this year.

Side note: When my wife was looking up U-Pick places, we wondered what else could be U-picked. So after a little research, we found a U-pick chicken farm. They also have U-pick rabbits and U-pick fish.

I wish someone would have a drive-thru u-pick place. I would donate them some letters so they could upgrade to a drive-through you-pick place.

We had 3 buckets for the 5 of us. Yes, even Gamma picked berries. Some off the bushes, some off the ground…

It was raining when we started, but it tapered off before we were halfway through. The nice part about that was that the blueberries were then already rinsed when we picked them. But my wife rinsed them in the sink once we got home anyway. No, not actually in the sink…in the colander which was in the sink.

We wound up with 9.5 lbs. of blueberries. And the total came to $14.06. It was really more like 10 lbs. of blueberries, because there was at least half a pound in the boys’ tummies by the time we checked out.

Let’s see… $14.06 / 9.5 = $1.48 per pound. That seems to be on the better side of the average U-pick price for blueberries.

The only downside is that’s too many blueberries to eat at once. Well, we could try that, but the baby’s still in diapers and I do not want to deal with that. So we froze a few pounds of blueberries and we’ll enjoy them in the fall and winter.

Next up: raspberries! Should be ready for picking in a week or so.

For my birthday, my wife bought me a box of chocolate-covered strawberries. Not just any chocolate-covered strawberries, but the gourmet kind.

What makes them gourmet?

The price.

And they were very good.

There were a variety of flavors.
And the berries were wee not-so-wee huge:

That metal object on the right is a quarter. A regulation-size US 25-cent piece.

And I liked their packaging. They were humorous without going overboard.

There was one subtle part:

And one not-as-subtle part:

But…

(There seems to be a downside to just about everything)

You have to eat the strawberries by the end of the second day, otherwise they go bad. It’s not like a regular box of chocolates, where you can eat a couple a day and enjoy them all week. By the third day the strawberries were starting to be not so good anymore. They weren’t moldy or rotten (we left them in the fridge). I thought they were starting to ferment. My wife said they tasted “zippy”, which I thought was an accurate description.

My experience is that strawberries need to breathe. If we store strawberries in a sealed container in the fridge, they go bad a lot quicker (such as overnight) than if their container has some air holes. There seems to be a balance, because leaving them completely uncovered lets them dry out too much.

Other people have other ideas about how to store strawberries. They seem to involve not breathing but draining. Either set the strawberries in a strainer/colander so that they aren’t resting in their juices or store them on paper towels so the juices get absorbed.

Either way, I think chocolate is not the optimum coating for preserving strawberries. It neither breathes not drains. So the strawberries don’t last so long.

In conclusion, if the only problem is that you have to eat them fast, that’s not a bad problem to have.

Oh, and the reason my wife bought them is because she had a coupon for $10 off, and she also got free shipping. They were still expensive, but not ridiculously expensive.

“What?!” I responded, “You can’t have chocolate for breakfast. How about some cereal? Here, have some, umm, Cocoa Krispies.”

Inspired by that transaction, I grabbed the camera and the glass bowl that held most of the chocolate, and I setup a photo shoot.

Here, without further introduction, is my Easter breakfast:

And here is a close-up shot of the contents:

Ideally, the chocolates would be unwrapped. And if I had time I was going to add some milk in the bowl (virtually, using Photo-Paint) as that would make the visual even better (yes, I said Photo-Paint and not Photoshop).

But I didn’t. So you’ll just have to imagine it.

Easter, on the other hand, is just chocolate. Sure, some chocolate makers might fill the chocolate eggs with things such as peanut butter, Butterfingers, or cream (creme? crème?), but it’s all centered around chocolate.

Or worse than that – they fill the chocolate with air. “Hollow” is just a marketing term. Because really, who would buy air-filled chocolate? It makes it sound like a tire.

All that chocolate at Easter would be overwhelming if you’re not prepared for it. My wife has been buying chocolate so that we’ll be well-stocked when the big day arrives. I have been using the Stash O’ Chocolate to train.

Oh yes, you need to train for that day. Just diving into all that chocolate cold turkey could cause problems. Your body isn’t ready for it. Hmm…maybe “cold turkey” wasn’t the best phrase to pair with “chocolate”.

I have been gearing up. The training starts back in October and peaks on January 1st. Then it’s mostly maintenance through February and March. Now we’re on the home stretch so I’ve been increasing my chocolate intake each day. Saturday will be just a few bits of chocolate – a stretch and warm-up if you will.

I think I’m ready.

On an unrelated note: spring break is next week and I think I’ll start my spring/summer running program then. Run for half the year, eat chocolate for half the year. I think it’s a good balance.

On a related note: yes, I took the headline from Stuff Christians Like.