Delivery Details

For those interested in the details of the most recent addition to our family:

  • 9:00 am – I get a call from my wife. She is calling as she is leaving her doctor appointment for a regular weekly check-up before her due date. She tells me that we have to go to the hospital. The doctor said to be there in an hour because we’re going to have the baby today, even though my wife isn’t feeling any contractions. We decide to wait until lunchtime or she feels contractions, whichever comes first.
  • 11:45 – I get home from work and greet my sister, who is over to watch the kids while we’re at the hospital
  • 12:25 – We get Alpha off the school bus. They had a half day, so now all the kids are together with some cousins.
  • 12:45 – We leave for the hospital
  • 1:05 – The nurse chides us for not arriving sooner. “I’ve been waiting since 9:00,” she says.
  • 1:15 – They hook up monitors to see how contractions are going. There are some contractions – they’re just slight enough that my wife had been dismissing them or not noticing them.
  • 1:30 – two students from a nearby nursing school arrive. It’s their rotation on the maternity floor.
  • 2:20 – the doctor comes in and checks things
  • 2:30 – the doctor decides she wants to deliver the baby soon, so she breaks the water. The nursing students get to help clean up
  • 2:35 – contractions every 3-4 minutes, looks like the doctor will get her wish.
  • 3:15 – parents arrive. I greet them and usher them to the waiting room. They do get to peek into the delivery room and say hi.
  • 3:30 – epidural is in. Good thing, because the contractions are coming in waves now.
  • 3:40 – the doctor checks things again. She brought a resident with her. There are a lot more people in the room this time than for the other 3.
  • 3:50 – the doctor and resident get suited up and then the pushing starts
  • 4:08 – baby is born. He is silent for the first few seconds, but then he starts crying like one would expect. It’s always amazing how the baby can go from not breathing air one second to breathing air the next second.

For those keeping track:

  • Baby #1 – at least 90 minutes of pushing.
  • Baby #2 – 20-30 minutes of pushing.
  • Baby #3 – 6 minutes of pushing.
  • Baby #4 – 5-10 minutes of pushing. I didn’t keep good track this time. Things progressed too quickly and I wasn’t facing a clock.

Trembling seized them there, pain like that of a woman in labor.

Psalm 48:6

Defensive Schemes for Parents

Since we’re in the sports doldrums (between hockey and football seasons), there’s a lull in the play-calling world. I know baseball is being played, but there aren’t many different defenses you can have in a baseball game. But enough about baseball – don’t get distracted from the main topic…

To fill the void of play calling during the summer months, I present to you Defensive Schemes for Parents.

You can look at this in at least 2 ways:

  1. You’re a parent who wants to understand sports lingo, or
  2. You know sports but don’t know how to handle the number of children you have

Guide to Football-style Diagrams: O is for offense (children in this case) and X is for defense (parents in this case).

diagram of double team, man to man, zone, and prevent defensive schemes as they relate to parents and children

I haven’t quite figured out what’s analogous to the goal line. But whatever it is, I have to make sure my kids don’t get there.

Transcript:
For a two-parent family,
1 child = double team
2 children = man to man
3 children = zone
4 children = prevent

Brothers and fathers, listen now to my defense.

Acts 22:1

Athletic Differences

If this is how your child looks when you take him to a gym and give him a ball:

picture of a happy boy with a ball

then you’d better save up for cleats.


If this is how your child looks when you take him to a gym and give him a ball:

picture of a bored boy with a ball

then you’d better save up for the bookstore.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

The Whole Seal, Part II

A few days ago I posted something about the warning of “Do not break this seal”. It had to do with software agreements and EULAs and such.

The warning, however, was written in English. I have taken the liberty of updating the warning to be understood by today’s international users / global marketplace / illiterate population.

Here is my contribution: an easy-to-understand warning to not break the seal. Feel free to use it in all your software documentation. I estimate this will be good for about 1.5 more years, at which point no one will be releasing software on CDs anymore.

And, as Ricky pointed out, zoos might be able to put this image to good use also.

image or graphic of the warning to do not break the seal

When He broke the second seal, I heard the second living creature saying, “Come.”

Revelation 6:3

Birthday Party Warning

Parents of small children will eventually have their children invited over to birthday parties. And those parents will probably be thinking of important questions to ask before the party, such as

  • What time is the party?
  • Do I drop off my child, or am I expected to stay?
  • Who else will be there that my child knows?
  • etc.

Allow me to add one more question to that list, so that you will have a more complete checklist before accepting the invitation:

What live animals will be involved in the party?

Alpha and Beta went to a birthday party, and they won something as prizes for a little game they played.

They won two goldfish.

Each.

We went from zero to four goldfish instantly.

picture of goldfish in some glass jars

We had fish before, but not for very long. The bowl has been sitting in the basement for a while (about 3 years now), so I rinsed it out and put the new fish in it.

The older two kids are somewhat excited about the fish, at least enough so that they ask whose turn it is to feed the fish.

Beta named his two fish “Biggy” and “Mediumy”.

picture of goldfish in a bowl

The only problem is that the fish are not very hardy. It’s not really a problem to us parents because we didn’t invest much in the fish, and we don’t expect much out of them. I think the kids remember from last time that fish are quite temporary. They won’t be heartbroken either.

We started out with 4 fish.
The next day, we were down to 3 fish.
Two days later, 2 fish.
A week, 1 fish.

At this rate, we’ll be out of fish by Thursday.

Oh, and my wife informed the giver-away of the goldfish that we will be giving away kittens to her kids next time.

He turned their waters into blood
And caused their fish to die.

Psalm 105:29

Sandy Theme

It’s June, the start of the summer quarter. Time for me to update the theme on this blog.

As is usual, it’s not really a new theme – all I did was replace the images and reaarrange the sidebar. It’s supposed to look like sand on the beach.

Anyway, here’s a slightly new look. Expect some tweaks in the days to come.

Judah and Israel were as numerous as the sand that is on the seashore in abundance; they were eating and drinking and rejoicing.

1 Kings 4:20

The Whole Seal

One of the more ridiculous things in this modern age is the EULA. It is the subject of many a complaint and many a spoof, and some cartoons too.

I, on the other hand, have found a way around the EULA. This post is a photo-documentary of what happened when I got a software upgrade (identifying information has been scrubbed from the photos).

At first, I just thought it was a command to be followed:

picture of a CD with an unbroken EULA seal

Then I noticed that the sticker went around the CD case. It was no longer a command – it was a challenge. Read the rest of this entry »