Beware How You Ask

It seems my son has inherited my tendency to take questions literally and answer them as asked (not necessary as intended).

Alpha: What can I do to help with dinner?
Wife: Do you want to set the plates?
Alpha: No, not really.
Alpha starts to run upstairs
Wife: Now why did you ask if you weren’t going to do it?
Alpha: Daddy told me to ask.

You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

James 4:3

C64 Theme

It’s March, the start of the spring quarter and therefore time for a change to my WordPress theme.

For this one, you either get it or you don’t.

Expect some tweaks in the days to come.

Side note:
The Commodore 64 started production in 1982.
The Nintendo 64 started production in 1997.
Windows XP 64 started production in 2001.

Which was ahead of its time?
That list is not only in chronological order, it is also in order of awesomeness (starting with the most and ending with the least).

(And don’t bother trying to explain the difference between bits of processor width and K of RAM – I’m talking just about the number 64 here.)

There is no remembrance of earlier things; And also of the later things which will occur, There will be for them no remembrance Among those who will come later still.

Ecclesiastes 1:11

Orthopedic Center

comic about joint chiefs of staff running an orthopedic medical center with the secretaries of the army and leggy

Welcome to the Military Orthopedic Surgery Center
Thanks…I’m here for the tour.

Well, we are glad you are interested in our facility.
Our center is run by two of the most respected surgeons in the area.

They are co-CEOs, and they handle elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles.
We refer to them as our joint chiefs of staff.

And over here are the receptionists.
We split the administrative duties between them

How do I know which one to see?
It depends on which branch.

This is the secretary of the army
And this is the secretary of the leggy.

The End

then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint.

Job 31:22

Beta Questions

I was lying on the floor, playing with baby Delta, when Beta started paying close attention to my appearance for some reason. Here are his questions:

  • Why is your nose so big?
  • Why is your tummy hairy?
  • Why is your tummy so floppy?
  • Why do you have so many gold hairs?
  • Why do you have white hairs in your ears?

And they were all right in a row.

I tried to answer him as best I could, but it was hard to come up with some answers.

  • The better to smell you with
  • That’s how men are. You’ll get hairy when you are older too.
  • Because I haven’t been running during the winter
  • That’s what happens as people get older
  • Umm… the better to hear you with?

Solomon answered all her questions; nothing was hidden from the king which he did not explain to her.

1 Kings 10:3

Free Car Wash

I found a way to get a free car wash for every four trips to the gas station.

It might not be the best quality wash. It might leave some drips and streaks. And it requires some effort on your part. But it is free.

Just take the windshield squeegee and, after cleaning your windshield, clean the side of your vehicle. Every fill-up, do a different side: 4 sides = 1 complete wash every 4th time.

free car wash from the gas station

I left the bottom of the door alone, so you could see the before and after.

I know you could do the whole vehicle at once, resulting in a free car wash for every one trip to the gas station. But that would be too obvious.

then the priest shall order them to wash the thing in which the mark occurs and he shall quarantine it for seven more days.

Leviticus 13:54

Dropping the Mic

The mic drop is old now.

It has become too popular.

In fact, it is so mainstream now that people are writing blog posts about it. That alone should tell you something.

I have two thoughts on the practice of dropping the microphone after your set to indicate that you are done (and, apparently, to indicate that you think you did such an outstanding job that no one could follow you or top that):

1. That must really annoy the sound techs. Now that mic drops are popular (or at least not uncommon anymore), you must be prepared for the end of someone’s set. You need to switch off the line before the mic hits the floor. Plus you should have extra backup equipment in case the mic breaks on impact.

2. It’s time for some more variety. Let’s have some more creativity in the microphone celebrations.
How about these?

  • hand the mic to the ref with no fanfare
  • shake the mic into your hand then toss it into the air
  • spike the mic
  • sign the mic and hand it to a fan

Any other ways to show you are done with the mic?

After my words they did not speak again,
And my speech dropped on them.

Job 29:22

Venn Diagram of Candy Bars

Yesterday I presented a flowchart of candy bars. But I think a flowchart is not the best way to show the variations of candy bars and their ingredients.

What is the best way?

A Venn diagram!

Venn diagram of candy bar ingredients

I suppose it would be more appropriate to call this an Euler diagram rather than a Venn diagram, but not many people know or care about the difference.

I took the little book out of the angel’s hand and ate it, and in my mouth it was sweet as honey; and when I had eaten it, my stomach was made bitter.

Revelation 10:10