Non-Products

As I was strolling through Costco, my eye was caught by a brightly-colored sign on the front of a palette of products. One side of the sign had a product, and the other side had a non-product.

picture of an advertisement for non-aspirin

I didn’t know you could bottle up something that’s not something else and sell it.

That got me thinking: what other non-products could I sell?

How about…

  • a gallon of water and sell it as non-paint? I’d even mark it half-off and sell it for $5 or $10
  • a bag of sand and sell it as non-sugar?
  • an old calculator and sell it as a non-iPad?

What would you sell?

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.

Colossians 2:8

New Polar Express Movie

Unbeknownst to the general public, Warner Brothers is releasing a sequel to the popular holiday movie, The Polar Express.

I have, thanks to an unnamed source, obtained the title and the cover artwork, and I am sharing those with you today.

But first, here are some of the reviews from the screenings

  • “I loved it!” – Seattle Sun-Times
  • “One of the worst movies ever” – Seattle Sun-Times
  • “Definitely go see this movie” – Atlanta Tribune
  • “A horrible movie” – Atlanta Tribune
  • “One thumb up and one thumb down” – Siskel & Ebert

picture of the poster for the movie Bipolar Express

Yes, I know it’s no longer Siskel & Ebert, but I can’t remember the new guy’s name offhand.

from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.

James 3:10

Ban the Ban, Part 2

I wrote about the ban on incandescent light bulbs before, and I’m still against it. The difference between then and now is that now it is affecting me.

The big “downside” about incandescent bulbs is that they produce a lot of heat. But guess what? I already use electricity to heat my house, so it doesn’t matter to me. Can those of us with electric-resistance baseboard heat be exempt from the ban? Now that my light bulbs put out less heat, I have to use more electricity to generate more heat to replace the missing heat.

…and don’t get me started on the demise of the Easy-Bake oven. You’ll be waiting forever to get a CFL to bake anything.

…and pity the poor residents of the chicken coop during the winter, huddling under a CFL that produces no warmth.

I hear incandescent light bulbs being decried as “inefficient”. They are not inefficient – they just multitask. They are good at producing heat and light together. Why is that so bad? What if someone wants both heat and light?

Old-fashioned light bulbs are not dangerous and shouldn’t be regulated by the government. Did the government ban gas lamps to get people to switch over to electric lights? As Americans, we have the right to lights, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Actually, CFLs are more dangerous than incandescents. Does an incandescent bulb contain toxic substances? CFLs do. You can’t just throw a CFL in the trash if it breaks or dies. I would rather use more electricity than contaminate the land with more mercury. But I’m not getting that choice anymore.

The main reason I want to be able to keep buying normal light bulbs is for their dimmability. I have several rooms with dimmers. Standard dimming circuits kill CFLs. I know I could buy new equipment and get dimmable CFLs, but the bulbs are $5 each. That’s over 10 times the price of a regular bulb. Plus I would have to buy a new dimmer switch and install it. All that work, and for what? No tangible benefit for me. (Yes, the CFLs would use less electricity, but the initial cost is so high that we’ll probably move into a new house before we would get the payoff.)

I saw the writing on the wall and started putting CFLs in the house a couple years ago. On my own. Without being mandated.

Why?

Because it made financial sense to do so.

I compared the price of bulbs plus the cost to operate them for CFLs and incandescents and saw that CFLs had to last about 10 or 11 months in order to recoup the purchase price. So as long as they lasted over a year (which they did), I would come out ahead financially.

But only for non-dimmable bulbs.

Next government action: sanctioning the sun because it produces heat in addition to light and is a major contributor to global warming climate change.

Now the slaves and the officers were standing there, having made a charcoal fire, for it was cold and they were warming themselves; and Peter was also with them, standing and warming himself.

John 18:18

More Sine Puns

Not much to explain here, other than maybe you should read my previous post first.

sunshine pun for sine theta

sunshine pun for cosine theta

sunshine pun for sine wave

I know, realistically it should be “sunshine wave” and “cosunshine” and such. But that just sounds too awkward.

If you need help on how to read the above graphics, try this:

Sean Connery telling you to talk like he does

I could continue with the sine/cosine/sine wave puns, but I’ll stop here. Feel free to create your own if you want more. Suggestions include spine/cospine/spine wave and shrine/coshrine/shrine wave.

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16

Sine Puns

Not much to explain here:

swine pun for sine theta

swine pun for cosine theta

swine pun for sine wave

Those who had seen it described to them how it had happened to the demon-possessed man, and all about the swine.

Mark 5:16

New Fonts

Fontgrill.com has been busy lately. “Busy” is, of course, a relative term.

First off, Wes Molebash needed a font, so he got one. Actually, it was not just one, but two fonts – a normal font and a bold version.

Then, motivated by Wes’ fonts and inspired by pro football, we made an imitation font (caution: contains font-like substance).

Three guesses as to which NFL team’s logo inspired this font.
Hint: it’s called Wayne Fonts.

If you want to use it, go download it.

And he walked about among the lions; He became a young lion, He learned to tear his prey; He devoured men.

Ezekiel 19:6

Football Notes

Thanksgiving weekend was a good one for college football, especially for Michigan fans. But there were some other games that spurred some thoughts in my head, so now you get this blog post.

  1. I am not a fan of rematches for championships. I don’t care if Alabama is ranked second in the country – we already know they are worse than LSU. If you don’t win your conference, why should you be in the championship game? Think of the conference championship games as a playoff round to get into the national championship game.

    Let some other team have a crack at LSU.

  2. If Alabama does play LSU and wins, all that will do is tie the series at 1-1 and we will need a tiebreaker.

    If they do play, I will be cheering for LSU. Partly because of the head coaches (+ for Les Miles, – for Nick Saban) and partly because I want the people who decided to put Alabama in the championship game to regret it. I’ve already seen that game; I want a different one.

  3. Same with MSU-Wisconsin. This is a vote against having cross-division games in the conference.

    Hey B1G, add a few more teams to the conference so each division will have 8 members and then we won’t have to contend with this scenario anymore.

  4. On a related note: since Wisconsin lost to various teams (including MSU) by Hail Marys Hail Maries hail Mary passes, everyone knows that is their weakness.

    If I were running MSU, I’d throw a few deep passes to start the game. Get ahead early.

  5. That Michigan game was closer than I would have liked. And OSU falls to 6-6. Maybe they would have done better this year if they hadn’t hired Adam Sandler as their coach.

    comparison of Luke Fickell to Adam Sandler - long-lost twins separated at birth

    Not that I want them doing better or anything.

Samson said to them, “Since you act like this, I will surely take revenge on you, but after that I will quit.”

Judges 15:7