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The title should explain everything you need to know for this post.

“That ink stamp looks yummy!”

“What’s inside your nose?”

“Here’s some markers and some paper. I’ll be back later.”

Garage sale season has started. My wife found a 3-D puzzle of the Millennium Falcon at a decent price.

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It’s not a good idea

to let your toddler

toss his pacifier

in the dishwasher.

They are not dishwasher-safe, especially when they land right next to the heating element.

We were looking at a foreclosed home the other weekend (no, we’re not moving – we were just providing moral support for someone else who is). One of the main problems with foreclosed houses is that the former occupants are often disgruntled and take out their lack of gruntleness on the house itself. Sometimes by destroying things, something by taking whatever they can.

In this case, I’m not sure which case it was, but the end result is that there was no downspout for the gutter:

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In honor of our winter weather, I am posting this video I took last year.

No, these were not my kids. We went sledding with some friends and their grandkids. Our kids were just the witnesses. I don’t know why he felt compelled to knock his sister off her sled.

No children were harmed during the making of this video.

A Grand Entrance

We went out to eat this past weekend. Nothing fancy, just a coney island – a step above a greasy spoon. Near the end of the meal Beta had to use the facilities, so we walked to the restroom area.

Beta is on the small side. So when he has to open doors, he really puts some effort into it. He put his weight into it and shoved the door.

The only problem was that someone was leaving the restroom at that exact moment, so Beta went flying headfirst onto the bathroom floor.

Of all places to be lying on the floor, the bathroom is one of the last ones I would want.

But we washed our hands thoroughly and everything was fine.

A Blaring Misstep

This one is several months old, but I think that doesn’t matter.

We used to have the baby’s changing table near the foot of our bed. That was back when Gamma was higher maintenance and his crib was in our room.

One morning, he woke early. I figured I’d change his diaper and take him downstairs so my wife could keep sleeping. So I grabbed him and made the 5- or 6-step walk from his crib to the changing table.

Little did I know that Elmo was lurking in the shadows.

Chicken-dance Elmo, to be specific.

His hand, the one with the On switch, was right where my foot landed the step before the changing table.

Elmo took that as his cue to start blaring the chicken dance song, in the dark wee hours of the morning. Not only did he play the chicken dance, but he laughed at me.

He laughs at everything, it seems, but this was not funny to me. My wife needs her sleep, especially during those days of having an infant.

Notice I said Elmo’s hand has an On switch. Not an On-Off switch – just an On switch. It’s loud and I can’t stop it. My wife wakes up and wants to know what’s going on. I tell her just to go back to sleep and I take Gamma and Elmo out of the room.

Elmo has since been banished. He is not allowed in our room anymore. But I think he’s been scheming with the telephone because it seems to ring every time my wife wants to nap.

I saved $500 yesterday!

At least by congressional accounting standards…

In reality, I spent $500 less than I could have spent, than I expected to spend. Although, in theory, since I could spend an infinite amount of money (theory, remember), I am saving an infinite amount of money every day.

You may be wondering what this is all about. Or you may have lost interest and stopped reading already, in which case you are not seeing this sentence and it is pointless for me to keep typ

We had no hot water yesterday morning, which was not a good thing. Showering with unheated well water is a good way to get frostbite annoyed hypothermia. I checked the circuit breaker (electric water heater) and checked the valves and everything was fine. I opened the panel on the heater to check the thermostat.

I was already in my work clothes (shirt and tie) and getting ready to head out the door. When I opened the panel on the water heater and saw just a bunch of insulation, I knew I had two choices:

1. Try to dig deeper, which would mean missing the morning of work and I would probably have to call a plumber anyway or
2. Just go to work like normal and call the plumber right away.

A little background here to set the context a little bit:
I moved into this house about 10 years ago. The average lifespan of an electric water heater is 7-10 years. The water heater was old when I moved into the house.

All that, combined with the fact that hard water (we have a softener, but it can do only so much) reduces the life of a water heater, meant that I figured it was the water heater’s time to go. (In case you’re wondering, it’s the fridge’s turn to quit next. Since I’ve been at the house I got a new stove, dishwasher, washer and dryer, water softener, and had to have the furnace repaired. The only major appliances left are the fridge and water heater. And the well pump, but I don’t want to think about that).

So I informed my wife that I would call the plumber and get it fixed that day.

I called our normal plumber. He called back a couple hours later and said he was swamped. “Do you have a meter?” he asked. “You could check the thermostat to make sure it hasn’t tripped.”

“I could do that, but I’m not home.”

He agreed that maybe I should call our other plumber then.

Our other plumber said he’d be able to get there that afternoon. That sounded to me like it would be done before the day was over, so we arranged for that.

He called my cell phone in the mid-afternoon. He told me that he was on his way over and wanted the exact address and nearest intersection. I told him, then quickly hung up and called my wife so she would know he would be there in a few minutes.

Of course, the one time that day she could find to nap was right around that time. I think my call awakened her. She scrambled downstairs, only to find the plumber pulling into our driveway already.

My wife called a bit later – “Okay, it’s fixed and he’s gone. I gave him a check for $120.”

Our furnace guy charged about $75 for house calls. For plumbers, it turns out, it’s $60 to make the house call and $60 per hour of labor (minimum of 1 hour labor charge no matter what’s done).

I figured that $120 to fix a broken water heater was not too bad of a deal. My wife helped when she told me that the plumber said we were lucky, because a new water heater would run about $600.

That’s where the $500 savings comes into play.

Then came the revelation that ruined my happy thoughts of avoiding house maintenance: “Yeah, all he needed to do was push the reset button on the water heater.”

Oy!

A $120 bill for that?

If only there hadn’t been that insulation in the way and I had seen a reset button on the water heater. Why couldn’t it have been a big, red, prominent reset button like on our furnace? But nooooo…

The plumber said that the water heater is 22 years old. The newer heaters are smaller and lighter, we were informed. I’m sure they are smaller and lighter. I’m also sure that they won’t last 22 years. Ours is built like a tank (yes, a water heater tank).

I’m considering the $120 as like an insurance policy. Because if I hadn’t paid it, I would have spent all morning in the basement trying to replace heating elements.

That would have been much worse for everyone involved.

And probably some people who weren’t involved.

I just had to remind myself a few times yesterday to think of the big picture – you wanted to pay a plumber to fix the water heater, and now it’s fixed. Mission accomplished.