One of the classic questions to discuss is “What exactly are the reindeer games the other reindeer won’t let Rudolph play?” Now that a certain series of novels and movies has become popular, I see the opportunity for a cross-marketing strategy. Unfortunately, the Hunger Games people missed the window of opportunity. Too late now.
It came about when He commanded the man clothed in linen, saying, “Take fire from between the whirling wheels, from between the cherubim,” he entered and stood beside a wheel.
Based on the popularity existence of last year’s article predicting bowl games in haiku form, I present to you this year’s all-haiku bowl game predictions. Still America’s only all-haiku college football bowl game predictions.
These are listed in order of date (earliest first). Some picks are whom I think will win, and some picks are whom I want to win. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to decide which is which.
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Rudolph: I hope I’m in the right line for tickets.
Rudolph: Excuse me, is this the queue for tickets?
Clarice: Yes, it is.
Rudolph: Am I properly queued?
Clarice: You are queued.
Rudolph: I’m queued! I’m queued! She said I’m queued!
Clarice: Very queued indeed.
I know the line is supposed to be “I’m cute!” but due to Rudolph’s cold, it always sounds like “I’m queued!” to me. Next year, maybe I’ll make a similar joke but with Rudolph shooting pool.
My beloved is dazzling and ruddy,
Outstanding among ten thousand.
Song of Solomon 5:10
This is a guest post that I submitted to Jon Acuff over a year ago. Since he has not posted it yet, I’m assuming he is not going to use it. Before you read this though, you should read the SCL post regarding the Elf on the Shelf. Once you have done that, please enjoy this post. Alternate titles are
Leg Dropping Elves: Episode 5
Elf on the Shelf, Part II
Leg Dropping Elves Reloaded
Elf on the Shelf: The Squeakquel
2 Fast 2 Elf-ious
Wise Man 1: Well, well, well… look who’s back.
Wise Man 2: It’s the doll that has nothing to do with the Christmas story! What are you doing here?
Elf on the Shelf: My name is Elf on the Shelf. You killed my Christmas. Prepare to…
Wise Man 1: That old bit? Don’t you have anything better? Something original?
Elf on the Shelf: How about “an eye for an eye and a beat-down for a beat-down”?
Wise Man 1: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Elf on the Shelf: Guys…
Gnome in your Home and Troll in a Bowl: Ta-daaa!
Wise Man 3: Is that all you got? I was almost worried for a minute there.
Elf on the Shelf: You should be worried, because I am going to get angry very soon…
Wise Man 3: Bah!
Elf on the Shelf: …and you don’t want to raise my ire.
Gnome in your Home: His ire is very Biblical.
Wise Man 1: How is that Biblical? We’re the Scripture experts here, not you.
Troll in a Bowl: Surely you’ve heard of elf-ire.
Gnome in your Home: And brimstone! We brought some brimstone in case things got ugly today.
Wise Man 2: Since you’re here, things are looking ugly indeed.
Gnome in your Home: And what do you mean by that?
Wise Man 2: I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.
Gnome in your Home: That does it – no more Mr. Nice Gnome!
Wise Man 1: Don’t worry about the gnome – he looks tough but he can’t take a hit very well.
Wise Man 2: You mean he has a glass jaw?
Wise Man 3: It looks like ceramic to me…
Wise Man 2: But what’s the troll made of?
Wise Man 3: Whatever it is, it stinks.
Wise Man 2: Maybe he’s made of brimstone.
Troll in a Bowl: I can see why the Elf came back. You guys need to be taken down a notch.
Gnome in your Home: Ooh! Ooh! Are we starting?
Elf on the Shelf: Wise men, you’re about to get served.
Wise Man 1: Good, cause I’m hungry.
Elf on the Shelf: We’ll start with the appetizer – a bowl of leg-drop soup!
Troll in a Bowl: Geronimoooo!
Wise Men: Oof!
Elf on the Shelf: Next comes a dish of smack-aroni and cheese.
Gnome in your Home: Thwack!
Wise Men: Ow!
Elf on the Shelf: And for dessert, have a heaping helping of …
Shepherds: Hey! Why weren’t we invited to the party?
Wise Men: Tag…
(Christmas decorations of all sorts are left in shambles.)
(The family wonders what happened when they find the destruction. They end up blaming squirrels for the mess.)
Where will it end? Will they ever learn to get along? What should the dessert be?
And having been warned by God in a dream not to return to Herod, the magi left for their own country by another way.
It’s December, the start of the winter quarter. Time for me to update the theme on this blog. This one was inspired by the movie we saw this past weekend – Frozen. Good movie, by the way. See it if you get a chance.
As is usual, it’s not much of a new theme – all I did was replace the images.
Anyway, here’s a slightly new look.
From whose womb has come the ice? And the frost of heaven, who has given it birth?
This is the second image regarding Jay Cutler. The other image is from last year.
There is a kind of man whose teeth are like swords
And his jaw teeth like knives,
To devour the afflicted from the earth
And the needy from among men.
Gamma has been prolific in his artwork recently, so I thought I would share some of his drawings here.
I’ll start with my favorite:
This is his Frankenstein. I asked him where he saw Frankenstein, how he knew what he looked like. He said he just knew. We don’t do a lot of Halloween stuff, but I guess he just picked that up along the way.
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