Archive for March, 2016

Easy Open Bag

Having hard water, we go through a bunch of softener salt. That salt comes in 40 or 50 lb. bags. The nice people who make the bags tried to make my life easier by putting perforations near the corner of the bags so that I can open the bags and dump them out without needing tools.

The only problem is that they didn’t communicate that well with the graphic designers who arrange the printing on the bags.

image of a bag of water softener salt that claims to be easy to open

When this bag design started appearing around here, I took the claim at its word and attempted to rip open the bag starting at the edge directly above the end of the arrow.

However, due to either the miscommunication or someone’s trying to be funny, that’s not where they put the perforation. So when you try to rip it there, it does not work.

image of a bag of water softener salt that claims to be easy to open

Now I know to grab and rip where the arrow does not point. The arrow is just a decoy. Aim for the perforations.

There shall be an opening at its top in the middle of it; around its opening there shall be a binding of woven work, like the opening of a coat of mail, so that it will not be torn.

Exodus 28:32

More – Bonus

It looks like my highlighting of marketing mistakes is paying off. Some of you may recall a prior blog post in which I noted a bottle of something touted that it had “+25% more bonus” as if you wanted more bonus and not more product.

I noticed this can of stuff the other day:

image of a can of wasp spray that claims more - bonus

These people did it right: a hyphen separates the two expressions about the product. One expression is “20% more” and the other expression is “bonus!” It’s like having both Bill and Ted on the label.

Zaccheus stopped and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much.”

Luke 19:8

Useless Ads

What’s vaguely entertaining is watching the ads that appear after I’ve searched for something.

For example, I recently looked up a variety of hotels for our upcoming vacation. Sure enough, right after I booked the hotels for the trip, what do many of the Google ads show me? Hotels in those locations.

I know enough about how advertising and the internet work that I was not surprised that Google knew that information.

What did amuse me though was its uselessness. Why bother showing me ads after I’ve booked the hotels? I realize they might not know for sure that I booked the hotels, but it seems backwards to me.

Once I stop searching for hotels, the ads should show me things to do near those hotels.

Wouldn’t that make more sense?

Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net In the sight of any bird;

Proverbs 1:17

A Holiday for Bullies

Why is it that bullies get a holiday?

Not just get a holiday, but get to bully others on that holiday and everyone just accepts it.

It’s more of a problem in school, as bully problems in general are more prevalent in school. People seem to grow out of it once they reach the business world. Most of them do, anyway.

I regret that I did not write this post in time for the day this year, but consider this advance warning for next year’s occurrrence.

Picture this, as from the bully’s perspective.

“I like this particular day, and you don’t care about it. That makes you worse than me. I’m going to ask you about my people. You had better have some representation of my color on you, otherwise I am going to threaten you. No, more than that, I’m going to assault you. The only way for you to be saved from physical pain is to agree with me. Do you understand?”

I was going to say there are two types of people: those who like St. Patrick’s Day and those who don’t care. But I won’t disagree if someone wants to add a third category of people who actively dislike the day.

Me? I’m in the don’t care for it camp.

What I do dislike is being hounded by the people who do care. And pinched.

Why do you need me to participate in your holiday? Why can’t you enjoy it without my participation?

If I remember in the morning of St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll be tempted to wear blue (the original color of St. Patrick) or orange (since I’m not a Catholic) and justify it that way. I can celebrate your day, but if I do I’ll do it with the color that I want.

Will they not go astray who devise evil?
But kindness and truth will be to those who devise good.

Proverbs 14:22


Here are some examples of what happens when your child discovers the panorama feature on your phone’s camera:

Partially Invisible Car

image of a panoramic photo taken by a child

Stairs in the Road

image of a panoramic photo taken by a child

Torn Photo Effect

image of a panoramic photo taken by a child

Deja Vu Car

image of a panoramic photo taken by a child


image of a panoramic photo taken by a child

Sometimes, it’s amusing to flip through the photos on my phone and see what the kids left there.

The earth is broken asunder, The earth is split through, The earth is shaken violently.

Isaiah 24:19

Skunk Surprise

I had to remove a dead skunk from our barn. The skunk was relatively intact, so much so that we weren’t sure it was dead at first.

picture of a dead skunk on a shovel

And that got me to thinking – what could we do with a whole skunk?

Like practical joke-type things.

First thing that came to mind: put it in a friend’s mailbox. Or maybe that would be soon-to-be-former friend’s mailbox. Unless your friend has a very good sense of humor. Put it in the mailbox with the tail on a spring so when he opens the mailbox, the tail sticks out. And of course there would need to be a camera nearby, capturing that moment on video.

Another thing that came to mind: put it in a friend’s car. Similar concept, but this time loosely tie the skunk to the inside of the car door, so that when he opens the door the skunk falls out. I’m picturing it happening like the skunk is walking out of the car, toward the person.

Another car possibility: put it in the back window of the car. The goal here is that the friend does not notice the skunk until he is in the car and glances in the rearview mirror the first time. Hopefully before he has put the car in gear, because I could see something bad happening if the car was already moving at that point.

Any other good places to surprise someone with a skunk?

Note: check local and federal laws before placing anything in a mailbox

Like a scarecrow in a cucumber field are they,
And they cannot speak;
They must be carried,
Because they cannot walk!
Do not fear them,
For they can do no harm,
Nor can they do any good.”

Jeremiah 10:5

Barn Cleaning

I was working in the barn one evening when Beta popped in. He wandered around and poked his head in one of the stalls.

picture of the door of a horse stall in a barn

He asked me “Is that a cat?” Knowing we do not have a cat, I peeked in the stall.