Archive for the ‘Ideas’ Category

Smart Thermostats

I’ve heard about these newfangled smart thermostats, but I have my doubts.

HAL-9000 as a smart thermostat

For the thermostat to be smart enough, it would need to be able to respond to the same question in different ways, depending on who is asking it.

As an example, if I walk into a room and ask the thermostat “Why is it so cold in here?”, the thermostat should give me an answer (“your son left the window open”) and not change anything.

On the other hand, if my wife walks into a room and asks the thermostat “Why is it so cold in here?”, the thermostat should know just to turn up the heat a couple degrees.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.

Revelation 3:15

Cricket Degrees

Since it’s the season when there are a lot of crickets outside (among many other creatures), I was reminded of the relationship between crickets and temperature.

I knew crickets chirped more with higher temperature, but I didn’t know until today (when I started looking up the exact equation for this blog post) that it is called Dolbear’s law.

The equation is (number of chirps in 15 seconds) + 40 = degrees F.

I am proposing a new temperature scale, because Fahrenheit, Rankine, Celsius, and Kelvin aren’t enough. And I’m ignoring Newton, Delisle, Romer, and Reaumur scales.

My new temperature scale is degrees Dolbear.

Which is really just Fahrenheit – 40. So water freezes at -8 °Do, and water boils at 172 °Do, and a human has a fever at or above 60 Dolbears.

Let’s see how quickly this catches on. Right now it’s about 45 Dolbears outside.

The cricket will take possession of all your trees and the produce of your ground.

Deuteronomy 28:42

Some Weather App

If I made a weather app, I’d rename certain days. Like this:

image of weather app putting rain on Some Other Day or Someotherday, for rain rain go away

Then everyone would be correct when they sang that little nursery rhyme thingy. Any day with 100% chance of rain would get renamed to Some Other Day.

But it happened after a while that the brook dried up, because there was no rain in the land.

1 Kings 17:7

Traffic and Capitalism

I’ve heard the response before for people complaining that they’re stuck in traffic: no, you’re not stuck in traffic – you are traffic.

My response to that response is something like this: But I’m not the slow traffic – it’s the slow guy in front that’s backing everyone up.

But I suppose the main point holds – people who are in traffic are also the traffic.

I was reminded about that the other day when I read some complaint about capitalism. The person was treating capitalism as if it were behaving badly, but that person was actually part of capitalism. If people don’t like what a company is doing, they don’t have to buy from that company. If people don’t like what capitalism is doing, they really have a problem with the general population.

And I don’t see that going away. Really any system put in place for any country or region will have problems because there are people involved. The problem is that people are naturally not good, and I think people who complain about the system are assuming that people are good and therefore the badness must come from the system.

With the way technology is progressing, someone might be tempted to setup a financial/governmental/societal system run by machines not people. But I don’t want that as the solution either – that setting is always the start of a dystopian novel or movie.

So what is the solution? I think there isn’t one that people can devise. Nothing is going to be perfect until God replaces this world.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Kitchen Design Idea

I don’t plan on moving anytime soon, much less building a new house, much less designing the kitchen for a new house. But if I did, I know what I’d want to do: two dishwashers.

We seem to have the problem of slowly-moving kids who don’t necessarily get the dishwasher emptied before the next meal. So the dirty dishes from that meal ended up piled in or next to the sink, to be loaded into the dishwasher when it is next available.

This could be solved by having two dishwashers – they’d take turns holding either the clean or dirty dishes. Think about it – you could set the table from the clean dishwasher and put them into the dirty dishwasher after the meal. Then when the dirty dishwasher is full you run it. And in theory the clean dishwasher would be empty at the same time so then it becomes the dirty dishwasher.

Now someone’s objection could be that having two dishwashers would cut out significant cabinet space. But since one dishwasher is storing clean dishes, you would need less cabinet space. It is, in effect, a cabinet with plumbing.

So the benefits to this arrangement are that kids don’t have an excuse not to put things in the dishwasher and fewer transactions are needed (dishes go from dishwasher to table and back without needing the middleman of the cabinets).

The drawbacks are increased cost and I was going to say having to track which one is clean/dirty but that’s already being done with one dishwasher so that’s not anything different.

Also the earthenware vessel in which it was boiled shall be broken; and if it was boiled in a bronze vessel, then it shall be scoured and rinsed in water.

Leviticus 6:28

New Grammar

The traditional rule is that you are not allowed to end a sentence in a preposition. No, not just you. No one is allowed to end a sentence in a preposition.

But people don’t care as much as they used to. Oops… People don’t care as much as they used to care.

There must be a compromise – a way to let people write the way they speak and still obey the rules of grammar.

I think I found the compromise: the postposition.

The postposition is a new part of speech that I am introducing.

It contains the same words as the preposition does, but its only use is to appear at the ends of sentences.

Thus, a person can end a sentence with whatever word he wants. If others complain about that sentence ending in a preposition, the speaker can defend himself by claiming the word he used did sound like a preposition but was actually a postposition. Therefore, he is allowed to end a sentence with it. Game over.

He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house; He who speaks falsehood shall not maintain his position before me.

Psalm 101:7

Tradition

I took the family to watch a local theater production of Fiddler on the Roof. We also happened to be discussing basic math around the same time, so I came up with the following song. I didn’t bother to put it into sheet music form – if you don’t know the song well enough to sing it in your head with these new words, then you wouldn’t appreciate it anyway.

Who, day and night, must add up numbers quickly,
Scaling up summation, by a common term?
And who has the right, as dear Aunt Sally says, to go first in the operations?

The product, the product!
Multiplication!
The product, the product!
Multiplication!

Who must know the way to split the numbers up, in equal parts, in kosher parts?
Who must use long form to get the answer right, to get remainders to cooperate?

The quotient, the quotient!
Division!
The quotient, the quotient!
Division!

If you want to combine numbers but don’t want to count up,
Just use the plus sign in your math; it makes things easy.

The sum, the sum!
Addition!
The sum, the sum!
Addition!

And who does the equation ask to count backwards,
Comparing the two numbers, to find the space between?

The difference, the difference!
Subtraction!
The difference, the difference!
Subtraction!

It mostly fits, except that tradition is three syllables and multiplication is five. It works great with division, addition, and subtraction. If you know of any 3-syllable word that means “multiplication” and rhymes with tradition, please put that in a comment.

I wasn’t trying to put the 4 terms in the order of operations, but it worked out nicely that way. What I did was tried to fit the math term with the closest-sounding original word. I think I started with “the sum” matching up with “the son” and then I matched “the product” with “the papa”, then “the difference” with “the daughter” because they both start with D. That paired “the quotient” with “the mama”, which doesn’t really match but there was not much of a choice left.

Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you.

1 Corinthians 11:2