Archive for March, 2011

Potty Training

comic strip of someone trying to train a potty

Potty training – not what you think it is.

Our toilet must have already been trained when we bought it, because it always obeys. So we never had to go through potty training.

We’ve taught two boys to use the potty. Third one should be starting soon. That’s child-training, right?

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Hebrews 12:11

Wiped Out

Here are a couple random conversations that occurred around here recently:

A Careful 5-Year-Old

Me: Be careful, you just hit your brother on the head!
Beta: Yes, but I didn’t poke his eye!

At least he knows what’s important. But where does he learn such things?


Beta: What day is tomorrow?
Me: Tuesday.
Beta: And the next day?
Me: Wednesday.
Beta: And the next day?
Me: Thursday.
Beta: Yea! Three more days until Wipeout!

The kids are big Wipeout fans. They were so excited to learn that Winter Wipeout was changing to Spring Wipeout. But then Alpha’s school complicated things:


Alpha: The 4th-grade class challenged the school to a week without TV.
Me: That means no Wipeout…
Alpha: Well, we don’t have to do it.

Challenge? That sounds optional. At least I won’t worry about his being tempted by dares when he’s older.

I will stretch over Jerusalem the line of Samaria and the plummet of the house of Ahab, and I will wipe Jerusalem as one wipes a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down.

2 Kings 21:13

Dora Dora Dora the Explorer

My kids went through a relatively quick Dora the Explorer phase. Their Star Wars phase has lasted much longer. But Dora is innocent enough, although they repeat things so much that I cannot forget them now. For example, to get to the end, we need to find forest, cornfield, tallest mountain!

Anyway, I noticed one marketing partnership that has not been realized yet. Ford has created limited-edition vehicles in partnership with Harley Davidson, and a concept truck with Tonka, but why nothing with Nickelodeon?

Today we’re going on an adventure! To get there safely, we need to travel in our Ford Explorer. Can you help me? To start the SUV, you need to say arrancar. Ready?

You did it! You did it! You figured it out!

picture of Dora the Explorer driving a Ford Explorer

Boots is in the back, buckled safely in his car seat.
Swiper is on the other side of the vehicle, stealing the rims.

He explores the mountains for his pasture And searches after every green thing.

Job 39:8

More Points Wins Wins

Now that there’s no more NFL for 2011, I updated the Football Formula page to show how accurate the formulae are for years 2006 on up.

Of course, my intention was to show that More Points Wins is the most accurate method. And lo and behold, it was! Also of course, if it weren’t then I probably wouldn’t be promoting it.

Here they are, in order from most accurate to least:

  1. MPW –   62.0% accurate
  2. MYW –   61.2% accurate
  3. ITP –   60.8% accurate
  4. DPE –   58.8% accurate
  5. ITPLS – 57.6% accurate
  6. DP –    56.6% accurate
  7. MPWLS – 56.6% accurate
  8. HTW –   56.0% accurate

I went back only five seasons to get an average accuracy. I could do more seasons, but it takes a little while to gather the data for each season. So I probably won’t go back before 2006 unless someone commissions (i.e. funds) it.

On a related note, that means that you can now browse the 2006, 2007, and 2008 season predictions and results. For when you have nothing else to do.

You are wearied with your many counsels;Let now the astrologers,Those who prophesy by the stars,Those who predict by the new moons,Stand up and save you from what will come upon you.

Isaiah 47:13

Boxing Day

Sorry, Canada – this post has nothing to do with Christmas.

My wife and I are similar in that we like to pile things up and take care of them later. This has a drawback in that, if one waits too long, the pile can become overwhelming. (Don’t even ask about the ironing.)

For example, we separate our cardboard boxes from the rest of the garbage because that’s what the recyclers want. Plus I have to break down and fold the boxes anyway because they’re too bulky for the normal trash can. Once I have to break it down, it doesn’t cost me any extra to place it in one bin versus the other.

But so that I’m not inconvenienced any time I empty a box, I just toss the boxes into a pile (in the garage, usually) and break them all down at once (when I can’t walk through the garage anymore, usually). Sometimes I do rethink this method.

AP Needs New PR

I have criticized Adrian Peterson for his choice of words when discussing the tension between the NFL players and owners. Now, in the spirit of helpfulness, I want to give Mr. Peterson (or his agent) some ideas for what he should have said. He needs to craft his speeches a bit more carefully.

I have no clue if he or anyone near him is going to read this, but here are my suggestions for what to say to improve how he is perceived. Note: I put in the end of the previous answer, taken from the Adrian Peterson interview on Yahoo, in order to give some context to the statements (“SC” stands for Shutdown Corner – the area of Yahoo! Sports that published the interview):

Original Quote – Trying to Generate Sympathy

AP: …. The owners are making so much money off of us to begin with.

SC: It’s nothing that I haven’t heard from other players, believe me.

AP: It’s modern-day slavery, you know? People kind of laugh at that, but there are people working at regular jobs who get treated the same way, too. With all the money … the owners are trying to get a different percentage, and bring in more money. I understand that; these are business-minded people…

The problem with that is the same problem Marie Antoinette had. Peterson is essentially complaining about caviar while the general public is going hungry. Or rather, the players and owners are arguing about how to slice the cake, while the people who make the cake can’t even afford bread.

Improvement – Get on the People’s Side

AP: …. The owners are making so much money off of us to begin with.

SC: It’s nothing that I haven’t heard from other players, believe me.

AP: A lot of players feel that way, but we’re making enough money to be comfortable. With all the money … the owners are trying to get a different percentage, and bring in more money. The problem with that is that the money is coming from the fans. The average guy out there isn’t getting a pay raise, so why should any of us in the NFL? That’s why I’m trying to work with the players and the owners to see what both sides can give up in order to lower ticket prices for the fans. More fans means more business and it’s better for everybody.

Do you think anyone out there would disagree with Adrian Peterson if he had said that? Anything else that A.P. should have said?

For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.

Matthew 18:23

Basket Case

Click on the image to see a full-size version (and zoom if your browser shrinks it to fit). It might be easier to read that way.

comic of bog and marsh discussing NCAA basketball tournament terms

Bog: Hey Marsh!
Marsh: Hi Bog.
B: What’s going on?
M: I’m angry! Just like every other year…
B: It’s time for Marsh madness again?
M: Yep.
B: Hey, I was talking with Creek and Swamp, and they wanted to know if…
M: No! Tell them I don’t want to help them make a deeper area of water again.
B: Okay, so you’re not participating in the pool this year?
M: No. Go away.
B: At least tell me why you’re so mad.
M: You know how we’re close to the Gulf Coast and all…
B: Right.
M: Well, I’m used to just the right amount of seawater mixed in here. But it’s way off this season.
B: Oh, you’re not happy with your brakish.
M: Not at all. And another thing…
B: Go on…
M: All these shrubs and weeds are sprouting in all the wrong spots!
B: Let me see…the seeding’s all messed up?
M: You got it. Who put those together anyway?
B: It is hard to please everyone.
M: Wait, where was the word-play in that last line?
B: There wasn’t one – you’ve had enough punishment for one day.

But its swamps and marshes will not become fresh; they will be left for salt.

Ezekiel 47:11