Archive for December, 2013

Ban the Ban, Part 3

I got myself a late Christmas present this year:

image of a 16-pack of 60-watt incandescent light bulbs

That’s right – I stocked up on 60W incandescent bulbs before the ban goes into effect.

I’ve written on my opinions on the ban of incandescent bulbs before. The difference this time is that we are hoping to move this summer. I’m not about to stock this house full of expensive LED bulbs just to abandon them in a few months. And I’m not about to pay extra to change the dimmers so that we can use CFLs instead of normal bulbs.

So, I got me a bunch of regular light bulbs. Take this as a reminder to get yourself some, while you still can.

and let them be for lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so.

Genesis 1:15

The Wondrous Cross

For an upcoming project of sorts, I wanted to find some hymns in a file format that was easily readable by both people and computers. I found the Open Hymnal website, which provides a lot of hymns in ABC format.

To repay Brian J. Dumont for his services, I encoded When I Survey the Wondrous Cross with three different tunes. I picked that one because I noticed the version he had on his website was the wrong tune. Or rather, a tune unfamiliar to me. So I put together an ABC file with it in the right tune. And our hymnal has it set to two different tunes, so I put together the second ABC file. And, while researching the hymn, I saw that it is commonly set to yet another tune. So I setup that ABC file too. I sent the files to Mr. Dumont, but they are not on the website yet. Until then, here are links to the files:

sheet music of the hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross to the tune Hamburg

When I Survey the Wondrous Cross (Hamburg)

sheet music of the hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross to the tune O Waly Waly

When I Survey the Wondrous Cross (O Waly Waly)

sheet music of the hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross to the tune Duke Street

When I Survey the Wondrous Cross (Duke Street)

But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

Galatians 6:14

Christmas Greeting

In the spirit of the season…

image of Murray Cook from the Wiggles, with a Christmas Santa hat, making him Murray Christmas

I checked for other images of Murray Christmas, and it seems that all of them use Bill Murray. I’ve probably spent as much time watching the Wiggles as I have Bill Murray, so I thought Murray Wiggle could use some promotion. Not that it matters, since he has retired from performing.

And yes, I know his name is Murray Cook.

So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger. When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child.

Luke 2:16-17


image of reindeer games: catching fire movie poster featuring Rudolph

One of the classic questions to discuss is “What exactly are the reindeer games the other reindeer won’t let Rudolph play?” Now that a certain series of novels and movies has become popular, I see the opportunity for a cross-marketing strategy. Unfortunately, the Hunger Games people missed the window of opportunity. Too late now.

It came about when He commanded the man clothed in linen, saying, “Take fire from between the whirling wheels, from between the cherubim,” he entered and stood beside a wheel.

Ezekiel 10:6

All-Haiku Bowl Predictions, 2013

Based on the popularity existence of last year’s article predicting bowl games in haiku form, I present to you this year’s all-haiku bowl game predictions. Still America’s only all-haiku college football bowl game predictions.

These are listed in order of date (earliest first). Some picks are whom I think will win, and some picks are whom I want to win. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to decide which is which.

Rudolph’s Classic Line

Picture showing Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer being queued in a line with Clarice. I'm queued!

Rudolph: I hope I’m in the right line for tickets.
Rudolph: Excuse me, is this the queue for tickets?
Clarice: Yes, it is.
Rudolph: Am I properly queued?
Clarice: You are queued.
Rudolph: I’m queued! I’m queued! She said I’m queued!
Clarice: Very queued indeed.

I know the line is supposed to be “I’m cute!” but due to Rudolph’s cold, it always sounds like “I’m queued!” to me. Next year, maybe I’ll make a similar joke but with Rudolph shooting pool.

My beloved is dazzling and ruddy,
Outstanding among ten thousand.

Song of Solomon 5:10

Return of the Leg-Dropping Elf

This is a guest post that I submitted to Jon Acuff over a year ago. Since he has not posted it yet, I’m assuming he is not going to use it. Before you read this though, you should read the SCL post regarding the Elf on the Shelf. Once you have done that, please enjoy this post. Alternate titles are
Leg Dropping Elves: Episode 5
Elf on the Shelf, Part II
Leg Dropping Elves Reloaded
Elf on the Shelf: The Squeakquel
2 Fast 2 Elf-ious

Wise Man 1: Well, well, well… look who’s back.
Wise Man 2: It’s the doll that has nothing to do with the Christmas story! What are you doing here?
Elf on the Shelf: My name is Elf on the Shelf. You killed my Christmas. Prepare to…
Wise Man 1: That old bit? Don’t you have anything better? Something original?
Elf on the Shelf: How about “an eye for an eye and a beat-down for a beat-down”?
Wise Man 1: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Elf on the Shelf: Guys…
Gnome in your Home and Troll in a Bowl: Ta-daaa!
Wise Man 3: Is that all you got? I was almost worried for a minute there.
Elf on the Shelf: You should be worried, because I am going to get angry very soon…
Wise Man 3: Bah!
Elf on the Shelf: …and you don’t want to raise my ire.
Gnome in your Home: His ire is very Biblical.
Wise Man 1: How is that Biblical? We’re the Scripture experts here, not you.
Troll in a Bowl: Surely you’ve heard of elf-ire.
Gnome in your Home: And brimstone! We brought some brimstone in case things got ugly today.
Wise Man 2: Since you’re here, things are looking ugly indeed.
Gnome in your Home: And what do you mean by that?
Wise Man 2: I just call ’em as I see ’em.
Gnome in your Home: That does it – no more Mr. Nice Gnome!
Wise Man 1: Don’t worry about the gnome – he looks tough but he can’t take a hit very well.
Wise Man 2: You mean he has a glass jaw?
Wise Man 3: It looks like ceramic to me…
Wise Man 2: But what’s the troll made of?
Wise Man 3: Whatever it is, it stinks.
Wise Man 2: Maybe he’s made of brimstone.
Troll in a Bowl: I can see why the Elf came back. You guys need to be taken down a notch.
Gnome in your Home: Ooh! Ooh! Are we starting?
Elf on the Shelf: Wise men, you’re about to get served.
Wise Man 1: Good, cause I’m hungry.
Elf on the Shelf: We’ll start with the appetizer – a bowl of leg-drop soup!
Troll in a Bowl: Geronimoooo!
Wise Men: Oof!
Elf on the Shelf: Next comes a dish of smack-aroni and cheese.
Gnome in your Home: Thwack!
Wise Men: Ow!
Elf on the Shelf: And for dessert, have a heaping helping of …
Shepherds: Hey! Why weren’t we invited to the party?
Wise Men: Tag…

(Melee ensues.)
(Christmas decorations of all sorts are left in shambles.)
(The family wonders what happened when they find the destruction. They end up blaming squirrels for the mess.)

Where will it end? Will they ever learn to get along? What should the dessert be?

And having been warned by God in a dream not to return to Herod, the magi left for their own country by another way.

Matthew 2:12