Archive for June, 2012


comic of a Tudor car instead of a two-door coupe

Person A: So you say you bought a new car?
Person A: And you told the salesman you wanted a coupe?
Person B: Kind of…
Person A: ???
Person B: I told him I wanted a two-door car.

So he made two doors of olive wood, and he carved on them carvings of cherubim, palm trees, and open flowers, and overlaid them with gold; and he spread the gold on the cherubim and on the palm trees.

1 Kings 6:32

No, You Stink

Delta met a skunk last weekend:

child meeting a skunk

And here he is playing with the skunk:

child playing with a skunk

I tried to warn him not to squeeze the skunk, but I don’t think he understood.

No, it was not a pet.

It was a toy.

His cousin got a radio-controlled skunk for her birthday.
Push one button and it moves forward.
Push another button it moves backward.
Push another button and it lifts its tail.

To my dismay, the box stated “No spray, no mess”.

No fun.

I say we retrofit a pump in the skunk. Tie the activation of the pump to the circuit that controls the lifting of the tail.

You could fill the reservoir with whatever. For fun, it could be bubbles. For usefulness, it could be bug spray or sunscreen (“Okay kids, stand behind the skunk before you go outside.”). For security, it could be pepper spray (“Don’t make me use the skunk…”)

If you are a manufacturer of toy skunks, at least let people have the option of using the spray feature. It’s not really a skunk without it.

The nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra, And the weaned child will put his hand on the viper’s den.

Isaiah 11:8

Hide the Food

Here are four different conversations that we’ve had in our house recently:

Beta, under the table and crawling away from Gamma: I got him!
I, after looking at Gamma’s legs: Don’t rub butter on people!

Especially if they are suffering from a burn. All the first-aid advice I remember can be summarized by “Do not put butter on a burn.” I don’t know what I should put on a burn – maybe I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter?

The Scene: I am making eggs for the boys.
Beta: I don’t eat the yellow part because that is what the chick eats.

Fair enough, but this one is done eating his, so you can have it.

I: Okay, which day do you want to buy school lunch?
Alpha: Friday, because that’s the pizza day.
Beta: Do they have cheese pizza?
Alpha: No, it’s pepperoni. But the pepperoni is so small that you can’t even taste it.
Beta: I want Friday too so I can have the tasteless pizza.

No really, with school lunch that’s a good thing.

Gamma, rubbing his hands together: I got some hand sanitizer!
I: But there’s no… hey! That’s macaroni and cheese!

You’re right, it’s probably close enough.

Can something tasteless be eaten without salt, Or is there any taste in the white of an egg?

Job 6:6

Mr. Rogers

When selecting your outfit for the day, be sure to enunciate clearly.

Plain Cardigan

Mr. Rogers wearing a plain cardigan sweater

Playing Cardigan

Mr. Rogers wearing a playing card-igan sweater

Applicable Puns

  • Why yes, there is an ace up his sleeve.
  • Don’t upset him – he’s likely to deck you.
  • He’s walking rather slowly today.
    Yes, he tends to shuffle.
  • Hey Mr. Rogers! What’s the big deal?

I’ll leave a pun about the joker for someone else to write.

You shall weave the tunic of checkered work of fine linen, and shall make a turban of fine linen, and you shall make a sash, the work of a weaver.

Exodus 28:39

Circuit Song

In case there are students who are struggling in the beginning circuits course, I am providing this little jingle to help you remember stuff.

You should be able to figure out the tune once you start reading.

Verse 1
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.
And on that circuit he had a …
… resistor!
With a voltage drop here and a voltage drop there.
Here a drop, there a drop, everywhere a drop-drop.
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.

Verse 2
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.
And on that circuit he had a …
… capacitor!
With a stored charge here and a stored charge there.
Here a charge, there a charge, everywhere a charge-charge.
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.

Verse 3
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.
And on that circuit he had a …
… inductor!
With magnetic flux here and magnetic flux there.
Here a flux, there a flux, everywhere a flux-flux.
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.

Verse 4
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.
And on that circuit he had a …
… transistor!
With a switch-switch here and a switch-switch there.
Here a switch, there a switch, everywhere a switch-switch.
Ohmic Donald had a circuit.

Any other components that a young student of electronics should know?

And yes, I know that inductors deal more with Faraday’s Law than with Ohm’s Law. If we stuck only with Ohm’s Law, there would not be very many verses.

Its rising is from one end of the heavens,
And its circuit to the other end of them;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.

Psalm 19:6

Sales Pitch

There is an ad running on the radio stations around here. I don’t know if it’s national or not, but it is for La Quinta Inns.

The ad sounds something like this:

Normal Announcer:When salesman Rob Taylor stays at La Quinta Inn, he is well-rested. And when he’s well-rested, you know what he does?
Baseball Announcer:And here’s the sales pitch…
Sound of bat hitting a ball: Thwack!
Normal Announcer:He knocks it out of the park!

It’s good they kept the cliches consistent in that the ad is all baseball, but now I have questions about the purpose of the sales pitch.

Logic of the Analogy:
If a sales pitch is analogous to a baseball pitch, then the salesman is the pitcher.
If Rob Taylor is the pitcher, then he is not batting.
Thus, he cannot hit it out of the park.
Ergo, his customer must have hit the sale out of the park.


  • Is it good or bad that the customer hit it out of the park?
  • What does it mean if the customer gets a good hit on your sales pitch?
  • Is a sales pitcher’s job to throw strikes? And get the customer to swing and miss?

Normally, a pitcher is trying for strikes, meaning that the batter does not hit the ball. Certainly, you don’t want your customer to strike out. Then he goes away and you have to find a new customer.

Maybe a sales pitcher’s job more like coach-pitch youth baseball, where the pitcher is supposed to gently toss the ball to give the batter the best chance for a hit.

But then the salesman isn’t being fair to his own company; he needs his employer to make money off the deal too.

I don’t know what to make of this. You don’t want the customer striking out and you don’t want the batter hitting home runs. There is no good result of a sales pitch.

But when you blow an alarm, the camps that are pitched on the east side shall set out.

Numbers 10:5

Fussy Baby

comic about a child who is not teething but is rather serious instead

Wife : Why’s he so fussy?
Husband : Maybe he’s teething…
Wife : Poor baby…
Husband : Are you teething?
Baby : No, I’m not teething…
Baby : I am very theriouth

Also, do not take seriously all words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you.

Ecclesiastes 7:21