Archive for November, 2012

You’ve Been Schwartzed

A little bit late, but it’s appropriate for today, the one-week anniversary of the Lions’ being denied a review of the Houston touchdown that should not have been.

comic of NFL refs changing their minds about something because Jim Schwartz also wanted them to do it

The scene: Forsett Middle School, in the cafeteria
Refs: Hmm… Which lunch table?
Ref: I think we should sit over there
Jim Schwartz: I, too, think you should sit there.
Ref: Just because you said so, we are not going to do that
Jim Schwartz: Come on, guys!

Devise a plan, but it will be thwarted; State a proposal, but it will not stand, For God is with us.

Isaiah 8:10

Video Killed the Computer Screen

Quick Quiz:
Of what is this a picture?

photo of the dusty inside of a tower computer

If you said “a desktop computer from around 2004” you are correct.
If you said “not a Mac” you are also correct.
If you said “Some Guy’s computer” you are also correct.

Thursday night, after all the non-festivities of the day, my wife started the computer but the screen was misbehaving. The picture was choppy and repeated and pixels were not where they should have been. I shut it off and figured I’d look at it the next day.

The next day, there was no picture at all. The monitor told us “No Signal”.

So I replaced the video card. I went from this:

photo of a fancy video card with a cooling system

to this:

photo of a generic VGA video card

No, I did not mix up those photos. The desktop computer had a fancy graphics card. I had to add the cooling system (heat sinks! heat-transfer tubes! a fan!) after the card kept resetting during Command & Conquer. That was years ago.

On Saturday, I pulled a video card out of one of my previous computers and plopped that one in the current desktop. Other than having to grab a VGA cable because the old card doesn’t support DVI, I had no problems.

Here’s how the cards compare:

photo of a fancy graphics card alongside a plain graphics card

I can’t run CnC anymore, but at least I know what I want for Christmas now.

For the Lord God of hosts has a day of panic, subjugation and confusion
In the valley of vision,
A breaking down of walls
And a crying to the mountain.

Isaiah 22:5

Thanksgiving Recap

What did I have for Thanksgiving?


That’s all my body would take. Two of my sons and I spent Thanksgiving recovering from flu-like symptoms. As far as flu-like symptoms go, it wasn’t too bad in that in each case it lasted for about 18 hours.

From Wednesday night to Thursday afternoon, Alpha and Gamma were eating normally and everyone else was avoiding food. My wife was fine – not sick at all – but she was trying some preventive maintenance by keeping her stomach as empty as possible.

So we missed the big Thanksgiving gathering with my side of the family. We figured people would rather have us not there than have us there but get sick the next day or so.

The main downside to that whole fiasco was the rolls.

For my side of the family, there are about 30 people at Thanksgiving. We were responsible for bringing the rolls for the meal, so we allowed for about 2 rolls per person. My wife made 70 rolls on Wednesday afternoon, a mere hour or so before the first kid went down.

We didn’t go to Thanksgiving so we couldn’t take the rolls.
We couldn’t send them with anyone.
And even if we had, who would want rolls from a sick house?

So if any of you want rolls, let us know – we have a bunch in the freezer right now waiting for a good home.

in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Pittsburgh Uniforms

I watched the Sunday night football game of the Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Baltimore Ravens. I am not a Steelers fan, so I don’t know when or how they choose to wear their regular uniforms or their striped uniforms. But I do know this: those striped uniforms are distracting.

Here is what most of America saw that night – views like this:

screen shot of the TV during the Pittsburgh Steelers game

But here is what I saw:

screen shot of the TV during the Pittsburgh Steelers game, with the players having wings on them to resemble bumblebees

screen shot of the TV during the Pittsburgh Steelers game, with the players having wings on them to resemble bumblebees

Whenever they wear those uniforms, I will call them the Pittsburgh Bumblebees.

In that day the LORD will whistle for the fly that is in the remotest part of the rivers of Egypt and for the bee that is in the land of Assyria.

Isaiah 7:18

Bill Delay

I received a bill from a medical facility. Along with the bill was this letter, which was trying to explain why the bill was sent about 3 months after the procedure:

scan of a letter from a laboratory facility to explain why the bill was sent late

Text of the letter:

Dear Laboratory Patient:

We apologize for the delay in the release of your bill. X installed new computer software. Due to circumstances beyond our control, there were delays in interfacing the new system with some insurers. This work is now complete and patient bills are being processed. Once again, we are sorry for the delay.

Should you have any questions please contact us at XXX-XXX-XXXX or email:

Thank you for using X.

I thought about waiting 3 more months, then sending this response along with my payment.

Dear Laboratory:

I apologize for the delay in the release of your payment. I installed new computer software, as opposed to non-computer software. Due to circumstances beyond my control, there were delays in interfacing the new software with my bank account. This work is now complete and invoices are being processed. Once again, I am sorry for the delay.

Should you have any questions, too bad.

Thank you,


But I didn’t.

For if we had not delayed, surely by now we could have returned twice.

Genesis 43:10

New Alarm Clock

Thanks to the magazine Machine Design, I have a design to prevent you from ever sleeping past your alarm again:

drawing of an alarm clock with a mouse trap for a snooze button

Whoever tries it first, please let me know how it goes. Remember to arm the snooze button before going to sleep.

Give no sleep to your eyes, Nor slumber to your eyelids;

Proverbs 6:4

Christmas Season Again

I was going to write an answer to the people who ask “Wouldn’t it be nice if the Christmas season lasted all year?” but it turns out I already did.

Rather than write it again, I am going to link to my previous post about the Christmas season and advise you to read that.

My wife noted that stores are opening for Black Friday on Thursday night. Not only does that not make it a Friday event, it also encroaches on the sanctity of Thanksgiving. Dear stores: please stay closed on Thanksgiving.

One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.

Romans 14:5