Archive for the ‘Mishaps’ Category

Not a Package

Psst! Hey buddy, I got this here, but I’m going to let you buy it as a box and not as a package. Don’t tell anyone.

image of a package that is not a package

I don’t know the story behind it, but I noticed that printing on the bottom of a box of something from the fireworks store. I wonder what the charge/penalty is for selling it as not-a-package.

Are we not reckoned by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and has also entirely consumed our purchase price.

Genesis 31:15

Oxford Comma Wins Again

I recently read this sentence in a publication:

In life’s darkest moments, when nothing can minimize the unveiled devastation of a terminal diagnosis, news of a loved one’s death, a wayward spouse, drug use turned into addiction or crushing debt, do you value the offer of rescue?

You know what I thought when I read that?

How does drug use turn into crushing debt?

I realize debt usually goes along with drug use, as people waste money they have, run out, and still have to find money to continue their addiction. Plus, as we all learned in school, Drugs Are Really Expensive.

But I think that was not the idea they wanted to convey with that sentence. And I think the Oxford Comma would have helped clarify their thoughts. Here’s how I would re-write the sentence:

In life’s darkest moments – when nothing can minimize the unveiled devastation of a terminal diagnosis, news of a loved one’s death, a wayward spouse, drug use turned into addiction, or crushing debt – do you value the offer of rescue?

See how there is a comma between each separate item in the sentence, leaving no ambiguity for the reader. I see why they thought they should avoid the comma – it made for too many commas because of their clauses. But using hyphens to separate the clauses frees up the commas so that one can be used for the list.

Return, O Lord, rescue my soul; Save me because of Your lovingkindness.

Psalm 6:4

Fridge Alarm

In our travels, we usually get hotel rooms with a mini refrigerator. A recent hotel room had a problem though. Here’s a photo of the arrangement:

image of mini refrigerator setup in hotel room

See the problem?

Here’s a shot of the thing on the wall, in case you need a little help:

image of mini refrigerator setup in hotel room

If you still need help, here’s a picture of the fridge with the door open:

image of mini refrigerator setup in hotel room

We were loading the fridge with stuff just after we arrived to the room. We heard beeping and figured it was the fridge letting us know the door was open too long. We have that feature on our full-size fridge at home, but weren’t expecting it on a mini-fridge.

So my wife shut the door for a second, then opened it again and the beeping resumed. She quickly realized it wasn’t the fridge. Rather, it was the carbon monoxide alarm. It is arranged such that the test button (that sounds the alarm) is pressed whenever the fridge door is opened wide.

Bad setup.

Of course, we left it that way for the next guests to discover.

Blow the horn in Gibeah, The trumpet in Ramah. Sound an alarm at Beth-aven: “Behind you, Benjamin!”

Hosea 5:8

Wrenching Tips

If you’re going to be doing anything significant with a socket set anytime soon, here is a tip for you:

All ratchets become torque wrenches at some point.

It’s just not calibrated.

In fact, one of my sockets – the actual socket, not the ratchet – broke while I was trying to remove one of the Buick’s calipers. The bolt wasn’t budging, so I tried the breaker bar and with much exertion, the bolt started to move. Or so I thought. The movement was that socket rotating because it was now larger than the bolt. The bolt, of course, was stubbornly not rotating.

And I had two other ratchets give up on me when I pushed them too hard. When the ratchet makes clicking noises in both directions, you have problems.

So now if you are going to deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, let me know, that I may turn to the right hand or the left.

Genesis 24:49

Coil Problem

The worst part of a Slinky is when it gets twisted together. Once the coils get intertwined, I would much rather throw it away than try to get it untwisted. And in the rare case when it does come unstuck, the Slinky is never the same. There’s always a noticeable gap where the metal got bent and can never be put back to its original shape.

So you can imagine my disappointment when I ordered two coil springs for my Jeep and opened the box to find this:

image of coil springs stuck together

I was glad that it wasn’t as bad as it looked. Just a slight tug and they came apart.

and two chains of pure gold; you shall make them of twisted cordage work, and you shall put the corded chains on the filigree settings.

Exodus 28:14

Questionable Logo

There’s a company logo based on the Titanic. They won’t admit it, of course, but I found the connection.

First off, the Titanic:

image of the RMS Titanic sailing peacefully

Next, the Titanic as it is sinking (artist’s rendering):

image of the RMS Titanic sinking

Finally, the corporate logo:

image of the adidas logo

Looks about right, doesn’t it?

so they signaled to their partners in the other boat for them to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, so that they began to sink.

Luke 5:7

Stud Finder

One of the joys of buying a home is finding all the things the previous owners did to it. I know I used my first house as a learning experience to know how to and how not to do certain repairs/improvements.

I am redoing one of the closets in our house. I pulled off the boards that held up the old shelf in the closet and found this:

image of holes drilled in a wall to find the stud

Apparently there was not a studfinder handy when he installed that shelf. And just in case you think it was an isolated case, here is the other wall of the closet:

image of holes drilled in a wall to find the stud

The board wasn’t that long, about 15″ maybe.

On the plus side, I now know where exactly the stud is and where it isn’t.

A little bit of spackling and paint, and no one will ever know. As long as they don’t read this post.

He passed through the hill country of Ephraim and passed through the land of Shalishah, but they did not find them. Then they passed through the land of Shaalim, but they were not there. Then he passed through the land of the Benjamites, but they did not find them.

1 Samuel 9:4