The topic of the week at our time at Maranatha during our vacation was relationships. The speaker was Ron Zappia, whose bio in the link I just provided accurately reflects his speaking style. I bet he wrote that himself.
He gave a week’s worth of sermons, complete with illustrations (literal drawings – he used markers and a sketchpad on an easel). I am not going to recap everything here, but I will go over one particular point.
Without self-examination, there can be no self-control.
– Ron Zappia
That’s good, but that’s only half the equation of self-control. People need to see themselves honestly, but they shouldn’t be looking at just themselves. How does what I’m doing affect others?
That goes along with one of my favorite quotes about self-esteem:
Kids don’t need more self-esteem; they need more others-esteem.
– I forget who
That’s what I see as one of my tasks as a parent – get my kids to see that what they do does affect other people. If it helps them, then they should do more of what they’re doing. If it hurts them, then they should not do it. Be aware of more than just yourself.
But that strays slightly from Pastor Zappia’s point, which is that you need to be aware of yourself first. If you don’t think you’re doing something, then you won’t check how it affects others.
So two points for raising kids (the process of which I am merely beginning): get them to recognize their own actions/attitudes and get them to recognize the effects those have on others.
I suppose the third point should be to get them to change the behaviors that are not good.
“But how do I get my kids to do that?” you may be wondering.
I am wondering that too.
If I ever get the answer, I’ll let you know.
Thus says the LORD of hosts, “Consider your ways!”