Some Blog Site

Transcript:
Evan thought it was a typo
but it turns out
they really were
nose-cancelling headphones

Gamma: You know what I do to Delta when I tell him “I’ll give you something to cry about?”
Some Guy (suspiciously) : No, what?
Gamma: I tell him that he lost his favorite ball in the summer!

I couldn’t help but smile at that one.

And no, he didn’t get that phrase from me.

The Scene: Delta runs to me, crying
Some Guy: What’s wrong?
Delta: Daddy, Gamma smacked me!
Some Guy: I’m sorry. Where?
Delta: In the living room.

If he weren’t two years old, I would have thought he had been watching old comedy sketches somewhere.

Gamma: I’m practicing air hockey so I can win more than Beta.
Some Guy : That’s right – if you want to be good at something you need to practice, to work at it.
Gamma: Like if I don’t like eating vegetables, I need to practice eating more of them?
Some Guy : Sure.

The Scene: informal Bible lesson
Some Guy: The Roman soldiers used a piece of armor called the breastplate to protect their vital organs.
Beta: Yeah, if they didn’t, then their Little Einsteins would come gooshing out!
Alpha: Not Little Einsteins! Little intestines!
Some Guy: Small intestines, but yes, that could happen.

The Scene: leaving the doctor office after a blood draw
Gamma: Why did they take my blood?
Some Guy : They are going to test it to see what allergies you have.
Gamma: When are they going to put it back?
Some Guy : Oh, they’re not.

Gamma: If your nose is bleeding you use a Kleenex because with a Band-Aid you couldn’t breathe.

The Scene: I’m pretending to eat a pig
Gamma: No, you don’t eat pigs! You need to wait for them to lay bacon.

I don’t know where my wife bought these cookies, but I’m glad she bought the new version and not the old version.

You know it must have been bad for them to (indirectly) admit the old version did not taste great.

At work, our printers are set to default to 2-sided printing. This is supposed to save the company money because we will, in theory, use half as much paper and printing costs will decline.

But no one likes the 2-sided printing.

For example, last week I was printing just a 1-page document for review. A coworker was also to review the document, so he asked me for a copy. I, thinking ahead, selected 2 for the number of copies when I clicked print. My coworker and I walked to the printer and were surprised to see only one paper there.

“I thought you printed 2 copies.”
“I did.”

Then we noticed there was printing on the other side.

That’s right – when I asked for 2 copies the default setting of the printer made it 2-sided printing, so my copy was on one side of the paper and my coworkers copy was on the other side.

We thought about holding it up and looking at the opposite sides concurrently, but I just made another copy instead and handed it to him.

So for that example, the paper costs were the same as before, but the ink/toner costs have increased by 50%. The policy has backfired.

And that has happened other times too, and not just to me. I now find it easier just to increase the number of copies when I print multiple copies, rather than click through 3 or 4 options and settings to turn off the default of 2-sided printing.

An Open Letter to Whoever Sets Company Policies for the Printer

And you thought I was done with the vacation posts. This one is just observations, no photos.

• We have an ancient Michigan saying: The grass is always greener in Florida. That is especially true in February.
• Two paths diverged in a Knoxville, and I – I took the one less travelled by. I knew we would be on the freeway a lot, so I chose to take the back roads from Knoxville to Atlanta (129 to 411, jumping on I-75 just north of Atlanta). It was a nice drive, apart from the several miles I was stuck behind someone going 5-10 under the speed limit. That’s the downside of the back roads – one lane each way near the mountains means there are not a lot of opportunities for passing. But, more time to enjoy the scenery. Miles-wise, it was a lot shorter, but time-wise it was about the same. Only, the GPS was not happy with me. It was doing all it could to get me back to I-75 the whole time.
• Florida must be where bottled water got its start. All the tap water there tastes like swamp. If you ever travel to Florida, be prepared to avoid the local water supply.
• Even though you might not want to make the trip down and back and down again, take the 2YO to breakfast in his pajamas then bring him back to the room to change into his clothes for the day. Otherwise, he will end up walking around the theme park all day with oatmeal and orange juice on his clothes.
• If you do go to the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta and you are expecting Dolphin Tales to be just dolphins performing tricks and stuff, you will be surprised. Dolphin Tales is a musical – people singing and choreography and such. It just happens that some of the actors are dolphins.
• Atlanta speed limits are confusing. The signs said 55 MPH, but everyone was going 65. Then I saw the sheriff pass everyone going 70.
• I took 3 books on the trip but didn’t get to read at all. When you are the driver on a road trip, your options are limited to what you can listen to in the van. Other than that, you are sightseeing or sleeping.
• I figured out how to objectively tell whether a place is fancy or not. I figured this out while surveying our condo. It is fancy if the shower uses real tile that goes all the way up to the ceiling. Average places will use a plastic shower surround thingy. A good place will use ceramic tile but only to the top of the shower. Our condo had tile all the way to the ceiling, and they were 9′ ceilings even. I’m glad we went during the off-season when the rates are lower, because we could not have afforded this place otherwise.
• I had the chicken flatbread thingy for a meal at a Disney resort. I now know that flatbread is a culinary term that means bad pizza.

Remember the adage an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?

If you can prevent their ounce of coloring on the walls, it’ll save you a pound of cleaning.

That is the downside of those Magic Erasers, right? It makes it too easy to undo damage done to the walls by kids. You reprimand them for coloring on the walls, then they see you just wipe it right off. And they wonder “what’s the big deal? I color on the walls, and it comes right off…”

Day 6

We spent the morning at the rental condo, mostly playing in the pool.

I didn’t take any photos of that, because I was in the pool. Being in the pool required a delicate balance of sunlight. The water was cool enough that I didn’t want to be in the shade, but my skin was pale enough that I didn’t want to be in the sun. Finally, I borrowed some sunscreen from a friend and I could stay warm-ish.

Here is our condo. We were on the first floor, which was great because of the kids and stroller, but also because then I didn’t need to worry about all the noise the kids made bothering the people below us. On the other hand, I could tell, around 5:15 am each morning, when the people above us were getting up.

Then we had lunch and headed out to Downtown Disney, getting there around 1:30.

Early afternoon is a much better time to arrive at Downtown Disney than is evening. If you’re thinking about going there in the evening, don’t bother unless you’re not driving. If you don’t need to park, it’s not so bad.
Read the rest of this entry »