On Behalf of Our Measuring Cups

or “What’s Wrong with a Pint?”

With no further introduction, ladies and gentlemen, I give you this:

An Open Letter to Bottled-Water Companies

Dear Bottled-Water Company:

I see what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to sneak the metric system into America. This letter is to inform you that your tactics are not going unnoticed. The USA is supposed to use the good old Imperial system of measurement.

You still have a chance to change your ways and gain the favor of Americans. Here is my proposal on how you can do that:

put less water in your bottles.

There is precedent for this – the ice-cream companies stealthily switched the standard size of an ice-cream container from 2 quarts (a half gallon) to 1.75 quarts. And they left the price the same. Less product + same price = more profit.

You can follow the same formula.

The standard bottle size for water is 500 mL (16.9 fl. oz.). You don’t even have to change the bottle size. Just put a little less water in each bottle and change the printing on the label so it reads 16 fl. oz. (473 mL). That way the bottle will be a nice, even, standard American number (2 cups), and the metric system gets second billing, the way it should be.

Sincerely,

A Proud American

The cost of water in a bottle of water is around 5 cents. So the average company might save a quarter of a penny per bottle. For 2007, the top brand was Dasani, at about 22% market share. The US consumes around 40 billion water bottles a year, so Dasani’s share would be at least 8 billion water bottles per year. At a quarter of a penny per bottle, that would be $20 million in savings per year for one company.

What do they have to lose?

The water you drink shall be the sixth part of a hin by measure; you shall drink it from time to time.

Ezekiel 4:11

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This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 5:35 pm and has been carefully placed in the Life category.

One Response to “On Behalf of Our Measuring Cups”

  1. Julie Says:

    I think this is ingenious. After all… everyone is doing it… noticed how small the toilet paper rolls are being cut? And graham crackers too? Any smaller and they’ll be graham noodles! Anyhow, an even 16 oz. bottle would be much better. No one tells us to drink 7.9 glasses of water.

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