This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
Dad Olympics
Sep
17
2013
I thought about what I sometimes do as a dad, and then for some reason I wondered how to make it a competition. If there were Olympic events for dad activities, here are some possibilities:
1. Throwing Height – tossing your 35-lb. child into the air (and catching him). Contestants are ranked by highest toss.
2. Throwing Reps – tossing your 35-lb. child into the air (and catching him). A toss must be at least two feet into the air to count. Contestants are ranked by number of reps.
3. Crib Crawl – You need something that was left under the crib of the sleeping baby. You must open the creaky door, walk to the crib (avoiding any noisy toys scattered on the floor), reach all the way under the crib to retrieve the item, and make your way back out. The child must remain asleep for at least 10 seconds after you shut the door in order for the attempt to count. Contestants are ranked by fastest time.
4. Back Breaker – While standing, you load as many children as you can on your torso (on your back, on your shoulders, in your arms). Each child must be touching only you or another child who is on you. Only your feet may touch the ground. Contestants are ranked by amount of weight carried.
5. Loaded Race – Load a 50-lb. child on your back and carry a 20-lb. child in each arm. Run 100 yards. Contestants are ranked by fastest time.
6. Stroller Push – Load a 30-lb. child in a standard umbrella-type stroller. Push the stroller for up to 10 yards before letting go (before the foul line). Stroller must remain on the track for the push to count. Contestants are ranked by longest distance of stroller travel.
7. Stroller Race – Load a 30-lb. child in a standard umbrella-type stroller. Run for 2 miles while pushing the stroller. At least one hand must be touching the stroller at all times. Contestants are ranked by fastest time.
8. Unloading Race – There are 3 sleeping children (50 lbs, 30 lbs, and 20 lbs) buckled in car seats in a minivan. You must put each one in the correct bed with the correct blanket and teddy bear (all of which are tossed in the back of the minivan). You may unload the children in any order, but you may not unload another child if any child inside the house is awake (you must get him back to sleep first). Contestants are ranked by fastest time.
I was going to make it 10 events (a dadecathlon), but I wasn’t happy with anything else I came up with. Leave a comment if you have any ideas for the final 2 events.
Prepare yourselves by your fathers’ households in your divisions, according to the writing of David king of Israel and according to the writing of his son Solomon.
2 Chronicles 35:4
This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 7:19 am and has been carefully placed in the Sports category.
September 17th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
Answering 4-year old’s questions
You must answer each “Why” question with a response other than “Because” or “Because I said so”. Most questions answered in 60 seconds wins. Or you could make it an endurance event, with most consecutive questions answered.
September 17th, 2013 at 2:23 pm
I’m such a failure.
September 17th, 2013 at 2:59 pm
Failure is not an option, especially in the child-tossing events.
September 17th, 2013 at 7:54 pm
I’m assuming #3 is at night with no light.
September 17th, 2013 at 10:07 pm
That’s correct – I was picturing a dark room when I wrote that.
September 18th, 2013 at 1:48 am
Do “God designed it that way” count for answers to the “why” questions?
How about an event that includes a lego strewn floor?
Or an event on getting a knot out of a shoelace in a required amount of time?
Or event on who gets the longest answer to the “How was your day at school?” question.
Or a car seat installing event?
A pack-n-play assembly event?
Or a who-can-sit-and-listen-to-their-child-practice-their-musical-instrument-the-longest event?
Or who can clean out the minivan the fastest?
Or…..