I took a survey last night. I was slightly annoyed with things, which is usually when I decide to take the online surveys that are offered to me. I think that most online surveys are skewed negatively, because people don’t care to vent if their visit to the website went fine.
While I was surveying, I became even more annoyed at the lack of respect the survey had for the English language. Most of the time that I am annoyed with someone’s writing, it’s the grammar or spelling that gets me. But this time it was the choice of words.
They are subtly changing the meanings of words. It may be a post-modern thing, or it may just be a convenience thing, or it may plain-ol’ ignorance.
Whatever the reason, I don’t like it.
Exhibit A: Never
And a little closer view . . .
It says “I have NEVER smoked cigarettes (less than 100 in my life)”
And they even emphasized “never” by capitalizing it!
If you mean never, that would be “equal to zero in my life”.
I understand the categories that they wanted, but why use the word “never”? And why, oh why, did they EMPHASIZE IT? Use some other term instead, such as “I do not smoke cigarettes (less than 100 in my life)” or “I rarely or never smoke cigarettes”. There are so many possibilities.
Exhibit B: 100%
This one may be more of a math problem than an English problem.
It says “100% – Almost always”
If you mean 100%, that would be “always always”.
I understand the categories that they wanted, but why use “100%”? Use some other term instead, such as “95% or more – almost always” or “100% – always”.
At least they didn’t EMPHASIZE IT.
Don’t dilute the meaning of words by misusing them. That will still get you perjury charges in court, I would hope.
“Have you ever seen this man before?”
“No, I have never seen that man before.”
“But we know that you met with him 99 times for insider trading tips.”
“Yes, but that was less than 100 times, so it counts as never.”
“Are you 100% sure about that?”
“Yes, I am 100% sure . . . almost.”
“Well, which is it: 100% or almost?”
“What!? There’s a difference?”
But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.
Matthew 5:37
This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
