Random Tips for Living

Tip for Fathers:

If your kids are supposed to be washing their hands, but instead you hear laughter and shouts of “Silly string! Silly string!” coming from the bathroom, you had better go check on them.

While you are walking there, use that time to compose a stern lecture on the appropriate use of foaming hand soap. Do not start composing a blog post.

Tip for Husbands:

Put the blender away fully assembled after it has been cleaned.

The next person who uses it may assume that it is ready to go and will not be happy when juice starts leaking over the base, table, and herself.

Tip for Nature Hikers:

Do not poke a turtle. If you must poke a turtle, use a stick instead of your finger.

They are not necessarily friendly, nor are they slow. Sure, they might not run very well, but they can move their necks faster than you think.

I was trying to see if I could prompt the turtle to move out of the middle of the road. He was a large turtle, too – bigger than a curling stone. I was glad I chose to poke the back of his shell, because he lunged at me as quickly as he could. He would have jumped too, if turtles could jump. He was glaring at me something fierce, and I could see that he was thinking “you’re lucky this shell is holding me back, buster…”

Tip for Managers:

If you have an employee appreciation event and you hire a DJ for a fun atmosphere, be sure to check the playlist.

I, as an employee, attended a picnic thing for employees, and the song I heard as I approached the hamburgers was “If I Had a Million Dollars”. Since the company was providing this picnic, some people could take that song as mocking. No, of course you don’t have a million dollars – that’s why you have to work here.

And if you are the CEO, do not let people see you singing along to that song.

From it Moses and Aaron and his sons washed their hands and their feet.

Exodus 40:31

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This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 11:56 pm and has been carefully placed in the Mishaps category.

4 Responses to “Random Tips for Living”

  1. Ricky Anderson Says:

    Hilarious!

    This should become a regular feature.

  2. Charity Says:

    I love that song. Especially when they talk about Kraft dinner. Notice they don’t call it mac-n-cheese.

  3. Burrill Says:

    Tip for kids:
    If you’re having fun with foaming hand soap, try to keep quiet. Excessive noise will bring your fun to an end.

  4. Some Guy Says:

    Excessive noise, or the empty bottle that used to contain the soap.

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