Not-So-Great Lakes

Our two vacations this year have taken us to two of the Great Lakes. With the water levels down slightly, I got to thinking “what if they weren’t so great anymore? What would they be called?”

So I present to you the Good Lakes.

First, a refresher on the names of the Great Lakes:
Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, and Ontario.

map of the Great Lakes

Now, the names of the lakes if they are downgraded to Good Lakes:
Average, Michigan State, Eagle, Westo, and Manitoba.

map of the Great Lakes, but with different names to make them the Good Lakes

Average should make sense to anyone.
Michigan State will make sense to those who know what the Big Ten is.
Eagle should make sense to those who know a little bit about Eastern Michigan University.
Westo won’t make sense to anyone. Really, off the top of your head, could you come up with something that would rank below an Erie? I had to look this one up. I’ll save you the trouble and tell you that the Westo tribe is what the Erie tribe became after they got kicked out of the Lake Erie region by the Iroquois.
Manitoba should make sense to us northerners. And if you’re from Manitoba, rest assured that I based the ranking on geographical area and population, not on the quality of the people in the province.

I did not go to the next step of naming the Bad Lakes. Of course, the first one would be Lake Inferior. I’ll let you, dear reader, figure out the names of the other lakes.

Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they launched out.

Luke 8:22

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This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 7:11 am and has been carefully placed in the Humor category.

2 Responses to “Not-So-Great Lakes”

  1. Ricky Anderson Says:

    Have you ever seen the Rio Grande? You might get your toes wet as you walked across.

  2. js Says:

    I can finish your list for you:
    – Lake Inferior
    – Lake Wisconsin (sort of like Toledo – it was bad enough, we decided we no longer wanted it)
    – Lake Skyline (a much worse choice than Eagle)
    – Lake Eerie (I can’t really explain why, but this choice just fills me with much more dread and discomfort than Erie or even Westo)
    – Lake Deemed Not Worthy To Touch Michigan

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