Modern Witch Trials

Not that there’s much difference, but the intent was Modern Trials of Witches, not Trials of Modern Witches.

image of Salem witch trials in 2015

image of Salem witch trials in 2015

Transcript:
Salem, Mass
circa 2015
Accuser: She said something offensive on social media!
Judge: Was it directed at you?
Accuser: No, but it was still mean! I’m sure someone was offended.
Judge: Very well, what shall we do?
Accuser: First, we must dox her!
Women: Yes, a dox be upon her. And all of her household.
Accuser: Then, she must not be allowed to work!
Women: Fire her!
Accuser: Finally, we will harass her for months and keep her reputation tarnished forever!
Women: Death threats. Vandalism. Shunning.
Witch: Please, it was just an attempt at a joke. I didn’t –
Judge: Silence! You are not allowed to defend yourself.
Judge: Your crime of being thoughtless online must be dealt with swiftly and surely.
Judge: Take her offline!


Here’s a similar take on things …

image of Salem witch trials in 2015

The judges shall investigate thoroughly, and if the witness is a false witness and he has accused his brother falsely, then you shall do to him just as he had intended to do to his brother. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you.

Deuteronomy 19:18-19

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This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 6:15 am and has been carefully placed in the Current Events category.

One Response to “Modern Witch Trials”

  1. Ricky Anderson Says:

    I was offended by this, so I had to tweet it to everyone.

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