The English language has provided us with a fair amount of modifiers and punctuation in order to make things clear. Confusion and humor come into play when people do not avail themselves of those items.
Exhibit #1: The sign in restaurant bathrooms that says “Employees must wash hands”
In the interest of saving printing costs, or because of laziness, or because of some other reason, the people responsible for the sign usually do not include punctuation or possessives. This leaves it open to the interpretation that the employees of the restaurant are responsible for washing my hands.
My guess is someone who likes to have fun with grammar pointed this out to management. Or perhaps management received a complaint from someone who did not get his hands washed by an employee.
Either way, I saw this sign the other day:
And I couldn’t help but smile and take a picture of it to share with the internet.
It was at a Red Robin, in case you want to support them for acknowledging poorly-worded signs.
Simon Peter *said to Him, “Lord, then wash not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.”
John 13:9
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It’s been a while since I saw any of the Teletubbies, so I assume the same is true for many of you. For those of you who do remember watching Teletubbies (regardless of if it was your choice), this may be of interest.
First of all, the still photo:
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Here is a construction tip for you:
Don’t confuse lintels with lentils.
Now after him was Shammah the son of Agee a Hararite. And the Philistines were gathered into a troop where there was a plot of ground full of lentils, and the people fled from the Philistines.
2 Samuel 23:11
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My wife got me a shirt:
My kids were familiar with two of the three items. I need to introduce them to the 5.25″ floppy disk. I do have a bunch of them – they go with the Commodore 64. I’ll have to pull all that stuff out of storage.
We still use the VCR – there’s no way to watch Space Ghost Cartoon Planet other than the shows I recorded back in college. And most of our vehicles have cassette decks – the kids have listened to Evie and Keith Green albums in their original formats.
There is no remembrance of earlier things; And also of the later things which will occur, There will be for them no remembrance Among those who will come later still.
Ecclesiastes 1:11
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Here are a few images of Michael Buffer plus something other than boxing.
You may not know the name Michael Buffer (I didn’t either, before I started this), but you probably would recognize him. He’s the “Let’s get ready to rrrrumble” boxing announcer guy. And if you’re not a fan of boxing, you may have seen him in a car insurance commercial.
I thought about setting this up as a quiz, with the final word omitted until you got through them all, but I decided not to spend that much time on this, so you are on the honor system to scroll slowly and try to guess what these people or things are getting ready to do.
Ready?
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or
But we must run aground on a certain island.
Acts 27:26
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Here is a rare photo of Reggie White covering Jerry Rice. He’s all over him, as the sportscasters would say.
The photo is rare because I made it up – pieced it together from other photos. I just wanted to make that pun.
And his appearance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow.
Matthew 28:3
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This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
