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This was indirectly inspired by a recent post about things learned from Visionary Family Ministries.

Women, here is a tip to help you when speaking to your husband: don’t insult him.

I know that sounds obvious, but you might not know you’re insulting him.

Let me give an example.

Let’s say Dear Husband is working on a project. Maybe it’s changing the car’s oil. Maybe it’s replacing the kitchen faucet. Maybe it’s installing a sprinkler system. Doesn’t really matter, other than it’s something that, when it’s done, he can say he accomplished it.

Now let’s say you see him working on said project, and you want to be helpful, so you ask him if he needs any help.

That was the insult.

I know you meant well, but just don’t ask or say anything about needing help.

If you are worried about his safety, then stay nearby (but out of harm’s way) so he can ask for help once he realizes he needs it.

If you have seen The King and I, then you may be familiar with the concept of letting the king (or husband – those terms are interchangeable, right?) think he thought of an idea that you led him to.

In summary: if a guy wants to do something, let him accomplish it on his own.

Also, results are not guaranteed. Your mileage may vary. Some guys might like being asked if they need help, as if they are still kindergarteners.

The exception – the only time you can offer help – is if the help is one of his children. If you say “Little junior wants to help. Is there anything he can do?” then he will find a way to need help. Even if it is just handing him that wrench.

This is the follow-up to the previous blog post about our week at Maranatha, mainly more information about Visionary Family Ministries.

If I could sum up the teaching of the week in one paragraph in my own words, it would be this:

You are a pastor.
You have a congregation.
How are you leading and teaching them?

Now to use his words, paraphrased.
“For most of history, discipleship and religious teaching was family-centered and church-supported. In the last 100 years, it has switch to be church-centered and family-supported, leading to weakened faith.”
“The family is God’s plan for small-group ministry, the primary tool for evangelism.”

Now back to regular bloggy writing:
From my summary, above, you have a congregation. In my case, it’s a congregation of 5 – a wife and 4 kids.

Who is responsible for their spiritual development?

Not the head pastor. Not the youth pastor. Not anyone in the church organization.

The husband/father is.

If, in an average week, you are doing nothing to promote spiritual growth in your wife and/or kids, then you need to start. Make a plan and start small.

Of course, Visionary Family Ministries is a good place to start

Other Things I Noted During His Sessions
I have heard sermons preached on Ephesians chapter 5 before – the roles of husband and wife. But Rob Rienow’s exposition of it was the first I can recall that gave the Why behind each command. It made sense the way he explained it.

Women must be careful with criticism. “If a man decides that you can’t be pleased, then he will stop trying.” Applies to her dealings with kids as well as husband.

“Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” is a familiar verse, but misapplied. It is not a cause-and-effect that applies to individual people – the you in there is plural. It is a promise to the nation, society. When kids don’t honor their parents, families break down. When families break down, society breaks down. When society breaks down, it doesn’t last long in the land. That’s what the verse means.

In conclusion, Rob Rienow is a great speaker. If you get a chance to hear him at an event, go. If you don’t get a chance, you can order the DVD set and have almost the same effect.

People often ask us “How do you keep your house clean with 4 boys?”

Answer: we don’t.

Sure, our house gets cleaned, but it doesn’t stay clean.

Exhibit A

Here we have the upstairs landing/play area. If you want to get to the closet (back left, out of the photo), you have to make your way carefully through the Lego minefield.

You’ll notice there are a couple of spots cleared for feet, but not many. And if you are carrying anything large to or from the closet, your best bet is to shuffle your feet to plow through the Legos.

My son was interested in reading a particular book from the library. We were not familiar with the author nor the series, so I set out to learn something about it before giving our approval.

My normal source for age-appropriateness and objectionable-content reviews of books is Common Sense Media, but they did not have anything for this book. So I thought I would look up other reviews, such as at Goodreads or Amazon or other places that people review books.

One of the strengths of the internet is that anyone can join discussions and contribute things, i.e. crowdsourcing. Reviews should, and many times do, benefit from the myriad inputs.

But one of the weaknesses of the internet is that the quality of contributions vary wildly.

In this case, most of the reviews were worthless. Most of them were a star rating (mandatory), an expression of sorts (I LOVED THIS BOOK!!!), and then a plot summary (It was a very exciting book that starts with the such-and-such and then this happens and they have to figure out this thing, etc.) There were very few helpful reviews. The reviews that were helpful seemed to use the format of listing pros and cons.

An Open Letter to Book Reviewers

Transcript
Father: Are these your mobile devices?
Son: Look, dad, it’s not what you…
Father: And what is this? Minecraft??
Son: Dad, I …
Father: Answer me!
Father: Who taught you how to do this stuff?
Son: You, alright!
Son: I learned it by watching you.
Partnership for a Mobile Device-Free America

What are you teaching your kids?

My Christmas present this year was a dash cam. I was inspired by last year’s Russian meteor footage, captured by hundreds of dash cams.

After reading a few reviews, I settled on the G1W. I didn’t want the fanciest of cameras, and at around $50, the G1W offered the best compromise between features and price.

Photos

I ordered it off eBay, and it came shipped from China.

I was a little concerned that they called it a toy, but I chalked that up to translation nuances. Upon further inspection, I chalked it up to export duties.

Opening up the shipping envelope, I found this box:
(more…)

I don’t normally try to read a bunch of books anytime but during summer vacation, but for some reason I got on a roll during Christmas break and had time to read a few. Here are my thoughts on them.

Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury

I remember when my brother rented the movie Napoleon Dynamite for a few of us to watch, he warned me “don’t expect any plot in this movie, just enjoy each scene as its own.” And that is what this book is like.

It is the literary equivalent of Napoleon Dynamite.

Put another way: it is a collection of short stories related to human travels to Mars. Many of the stories are related or share certain characters, but others don’t.

It was a fairly quick read, or maybe it just seemed that way because I could stop reading and restart whenever I wanted because there is no flow to the whole book.

I didn’t get this book with my kids in mind; I just wanted to grab a book for myself. But, in case you are wondering about kid-appropriateness, I would certainly let a high-schooler read it, but not my elementary-schoolers.

And I don’t know that I would recommend the book to anyone. I’m not recommending against it, just that there are better books out there. Unless you’re a fan of short stories set on Mars.

Seven Wonders – The Colossus Rises, by Peter Lerangis

This book seems like it is trying to capitalize on the popularity of other books involving the historic supernatural (I’m looking at you, Percy Jackson).

The book was fine. If you want to know what the book is about, there are plenty of recaps available elsewhere. My review is going to stick to the reason I was reading the book – to see if my kids would like it.

They might.

The imagery and situations were less intense than the Percy Jackson series, plus there’s no romance, so it is appropriate for a younger audience than Percy Jackson is. I’d say 3rd grade and up for this series, but 6th grade and up for the Olympians. But I read only the first book of this series, so I can’t say for sure that all of them are like this.

Warriors – Into the Wild, by Erin Hunter

We were staying at a friend’s house, and they had this whole series, which they offered to let us borrow. We said yes, and then I read the first book (Into the Wild) after we got home.

The story was more compelling than I had expected. It is about life in a cat clan. There are descriptions of cats fighting, nothing graphic, but if your child doesn’t like animals being harmed or killed, then pass on this series. A 1st grader might enjoy these books, but I’ll go with a recommendation of 2nd grade on up.

Frazz, by Jef Mallet

Great book. A collection of Frazz comic strips. Fun for all ages – almost. There were a couple of instances of something you wouldn’t want your pre-schooler to say. The only one I can remember right now is one of the more famous quotes from Macbeth.

Fallout, by Todd Strasser

Interesting premise, but I stopped partway through. Once I discovered that the book was not appropriate for grade-schoolers, there was no need to keep reading.

The premise is there is only one family on the block who built a bomb shelter, and a nuclear bomb does go off. The book is centered around this Lifeboat scenario (Steve Taylor reference) as more people get into the shelter than it is meant to support, but the also delves into other lessons on racism and other social issues. My main objection has to do with some of the lessons that the neighbor boy teaches the main character, also a young boy. The protagonist is young and therefore naive, and he learns some things. The things he learns from the neighbor are not things I want other people putting into my child’s head.

Note: there are several books with the title of Fallout. If you are writing or thinking about a book, please choose a different title.

Iron Giant, by Ted Hughes

We watched this movie (animated, from the 1990s) for the first time last month. Everyone liked it so much, we thought we would read the book.

Don’t.

If you liked the movie, leave it at that. The book is nothing like the movie. The movie is exciting. The book is simple. It reads like a See Spot Run book.

I guess it hinges on your expectations. If you read the book to kids at a young enough age, they might enjoy it. If you see the movie first though, they probably won’t.

Rush Revere, by Rush Limbaugh

A stylized account of William Bradford’s settling of the Pilgrims in 1620. Alpha got this for Christmas from his grandparents. Since I trust his grandparents not to corrupt him with inappropriate media, I wasn’t going to check or read this book. But I noticed him laughing at a few parts of the book, so I got curious.

The book was both entertaining and informative. It is, at its heart, a history lesson, albeit enhanced with additional characters so that kids will want to read it.

Nothing objectionable.

Sidekicks, by Dan Santat

My 2nd grader picked this out of the library. I wasn’t planning on reading it, but one afternoon my pre-schooler picked it as the book he wanted me to read to him.

It’s a fun little comic book, or short graphic novel if you will, about an aging superhero and his pets. Those pets happen to be his sidekicks, hence the title.

I’d have no problem letting any of my kids read this one.