Scraper Look-Alike
Mar
4
2026
Some Wife has a variety of kitchen tools, some more practical than others, and some more useful than I thought, especially when I didn’t know such a tool existed (e.g. lettuce knife).
But the topic of today’s is not such a tool.
It is a tool that is impractical.
It looks like this – side and front views.
It is a cucumber scorer.
I don’t know what exactly it is called, and Some Wife doesn’t know either. The only thing I’ve seen her use it for is to score (i.e. fancily peel) cucmbers.
But it is oddly shaped, and the shape reminded me of something.
And the cucmber tool is vaguely shaped like Wallace, but only in the protruding cheeks. The top of the head doesn’t match. So I thought about it and came up with a match for the top of the tool.
That was better, but Dilbert doesn’t have protruding cheeks so to me the main feature was lacking and this was not the answer.
But inspiration hit me, and I realized the tool was upside-down. So the bumps are not the top of the head but the bottom. If we flip it, it aligns much better with Wallace.
I propose that we call it “the Wallace”. So far it hasn’t caught on, mainly because no one ever asks for the tool.
Who can open the doors of his face? Around his teeth there is terror.
Job 41:14

This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
