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I watched the Sunday night football game of the Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Baltimore Ravens. I am not a Steelers fan, so I don’t know when or how they choose to wear their regular uniforms or their striped uniforms. But I do know this: those striped uniforms are distracting.

Here is what most of America saw that night – views like this:

But here is what I saw:

Whenever they wear those uniforms, I will call them the Pittsburgh Bumblebees.

About a year ago, I wrote this post comparing Ohio State’s football coach to Adam Sandler.

I still think it was a good likeness:

After watching some more football last weekend, I thought I would try a couple more separated-at-birth photos.

Exhibit A:

In case you’re wondering, that is Bret Bielema (head coach of the Wisconsin Badgers) and Al Bundy (of Married…With Children fame).

Exhibit B:

And that is Mike Smith (head coach of the Atlanta Falcons) and Steve Martin (of Father of the Bride movie fame)

Any other coaches who resemble actors?

Now that I have almost recovered from the Grand Rapids Marathon, here are some of my thoughts from that day.

Food

I brought stuff to eat during the race. I was planning on carrying them until I ate them, but I read the race pamphlet and saw that the aid stations provided food in addition to water and Gatorade. And not just any food – the Grand Rapids Marathon takes care of you with pretzels, bananas, orange slices, Gu packets (maybe not a food, but good anyway), pickle juice, and Oreos. Not all at every aid station, but about half the aid stations had one food item.

My favorite was the Oreos at mile 22. Although probably just about anything would have tasted good at that point, other than pickle juice.

The pretzels were actually the worst, because they are so dry. I ate the first pretzel without any water. Not only does it dry out your mouth, but the pretzel flakes go down your windpipe too easily. Make sure you eat pretzels with water, like take a mouthful of water and then eat the pretzel.

Workers

My favorite aid station worker was a boy about 12 years old who was handing out Gu (mile 12.5-ish). Most of the other Gu-ers were calling out “Blackberry Gu!” as they should have, but this kid exceeded expectations by calling out “Blackberry Gu! I tried it myself and it’s not too bad!”

As a side note: we do appreciate knowing what you are handing out. Sometimes I want water and sometimes I want Gatorade, depending on what I ate just before that aid station. Race volunteers, please remember that you can’t announce your item enough. Keep calling out what you’re handing out.

My second favorite aid station worker was a guy who I would guess was a college student. Everyone else was calling out “Water!” but he was calling out “The Wettest Water!” Of course, I took a cup from him instead of the other guys.

Music

Start-line music is also important. The GRM did not have music for the start, that I remember, but they were playing “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers when I came to the starting chute about 15 minutes before the gun. I commend them for their choice in songs.

Some other races play “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen. I’m not much of a fan of that song, so I appreciate when races play something other than that.

During the race, maybe around mile 8, there was someone playing “The Distance” by Cake. That was a good one to have.
“He’s going the distance.”
Well, I’m certainly planning on it
“He’s going for speed.”
That might be stretching it a little there, Cake
“He’s all alone”
That’s funny, considering as I’m trying to weave my way through this pack of runners
“All alone, in his time of need”
I don’t feel needy, but okay.
And then we turned a corner and I didn’t catch the rest of the song.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere are Signs

The “Worst Parade Ever” sign was clever when it first started, but I think it has lost its luster now. Jumped the shark, as they say. I lost count of how many “Worst Parade Ever” signs I saw. And I felt bad for the people who brought them, because they did at least go to the effort of making a sign and spectating at a marathon.

There were also too many “Run Like You Stole Something” signs. First of all, if I stole something, I would not be following a marked course. Secondly, I would not be running back to the place I started. Thirdly, I would not be wearing a highly-visible number which identifies me. And finally, it should be obvious from my empty hands and lack of bags that I am not carrying anything which could be construed of having been stolen.

My two favorite signs were “Motivational Sign” and “You All Smell Bad”. I think both were held by kids, for what that’s worth. But next year, if I see two dozen “Motivational Sign” signs, it will drop in my estimation.

My third favorite sign was “Go, random stranger, go!”. I almost replied “Thank you, random spectator”.

If you are running and you want random spectators to cheer for you, wear a shirt with a slogan or logo that is easily read. At one point, around mile 9, I was running near a guy with a Calvin College shirt. He got a few “Go Calvin!” cheers.

My Times

I ran the first half with no problems – got to the halfway point at 1:52. Then I had to stop and stretch because my legs were tightening up and I didn’t want them to actually cramp like they did at the Holland Half.

I had kept George Bush in my sights until then, but I let him go when I stopped. I ran okay after that, but my pace dropped to 9-minutes miles for a couple of miles, then 10-minute miles for a couple of miles. I knew things were not going so well when Will Ferrell passed me, around mile 19.

I made it to mile 20 (at exactly 3 hours) without walking, but at that point I had to stop and stretch and walk because my leg muscles were not cooperating anymore. After mile 20, I walked then ran then walked then ran – a half mile here, a quarter mile there, to that aid station, to that mile marker.

Then P. Diddy passed me at time 3:50. I could only watch as they jogged happily by me. The next celebrity would be Oprah. I walked and ran and stopped and stretched and repeated, keeping a close eye on my watch to make sure I would stay in front of Oprah.

I got to mile 25 and figured I should be able to run 1.2 miles. So I did.

First hour: 7 miles
Second hour: 7 miles
Third hour: 6 miles
Fourth hour: 3.5 miles
Last 24 minutes: 2.7 miles

I finished in 4:24, which is a per-mile pace of 10:04. I did the first half at an 8:30 pace, and I was hitting each mile consistently. Then I did the second half in 2:32, which is a pace of 11:36.

Maybe I’ll stick to half marathons.

Not much of a post today, as I am recovering from yesterday’s Grand Rapids Marathon. But I will collect my thoughts of the event and post them for you tomorrow.

In the meantime, here are the race results. You’ll have to select an age group if you want more information than just the top finishers.
And here is the FAQ for the race.
And here are the pace teams for the race.

I recommend you start with the FAQ and then go to the pace team page. Go to the race results only if you care.

Some people were disappointed that my site’s consensus pick for week 2 of the 2012 NFL season was incorrect. After pondering what happened, I am not going to blame the officiating. Rather, I will just have my disclaimer ready.

Warning: consensus picks are no more than 85% accurate.

I went through the whole 2011 season and tallied how many consensus picks there were and how many times it was correct. (One of the many uses for spreadsheets…) I did that for when all 8 forecasting methods agreed, as well as 7 of 8, 6 of 8, and 5 of 8.

Here are the results:

So, if all 8 picks agree, they have an 85% chance of being right. Since they were wrong in week 2, they should be correct for the next several picks.

This recently-completed weekend was the unofficial Holland Half-Marathon.

• I say “unofficial” because it didn’t really happen for most of us there. Although there were hundreds of runners there, only about 15 or so actually got results.

  That’s because there was too much lightning in the area, so the race organizers packed up the equipment for the finish line and they left. They were telling people that the race was black-flagged, but no one told us runners that. It’s a good thing I had my watch and was keeping my own time, because my chip was useless for anything after the 84-minute mark.

• So I finished, got my finisher medal and bottle of water (thanks to those volunteers for sticking around), and stretched my legs. Then, as we were walking to the food tables (which had been moved to the gym for weather reasons), it started raining more. And hailing. I grabbed some food, saw the (few) race results, then got in my parents’ minivan for the ride back to my sister’s house. The weather was a far cry from last year’s 70-and-sunny day.
• That was the most notable thing about the race. That, and my sister won her age group for the 5k. Since she finished in under 84 minutes, she did get an official result, as did my brother-in-law.
• The other notable thing about the race, at least to me, was that there was a blind runner. I had never seen someone running blind before, so that’s why it was notable. Next time, it won’t be so notable.

  I saw the guy around the quarter- or half-mile mark. He had the red and white cane like one would expect, but the end was a plastic ball so that it would slide on the pavement. He didn’t tap the cane – he just pushed it along. I wasn’t quite sure that he was fully blind though, until he missed the turn after the 1-mile mark. He might have run into the police car that was there to block traffic, if it hadn’t been for the race volunteer standing there to direct the runners. She caught him just in time and directed back with the rest of us runners.

  Shortly after that, I noticed a guy in a black running shirt with green trim. He started running with the blind guy (I’ll call him Scott because I think that’s his name). The new guy’s shirt said “Team Gazelle” on it, and I gathered from some of his conversation with Scott that he worked for Gazelle Sports (which happens to be a sponsor of the Park 2 Park race). The Gazelle guy (whom I’ll call Rob because I don’t really know his name) then ran with Scott for the rest of the race, all 11.5 miles that we had left.

• I ran about the same pace as Scott – they were either just ahead of me or just behind me until about mile 8.5, when Scott had to stop and stretch his legs and they never caught back up to me after that. I must commend Rob for going above and beyond his obligations – he ran with Scott, helped him make turns and avoid obstacles (some large puddles were on the course), kept a conversation going, and even got him water at the water stations. Scott would keep running past the water stations, and Rob would stop, get two waters, catch back up to Scott, and hand him a cup of water.

  I’ve never been to Gazelle Sports, but if that’s the kind of service and support they give to someone who is not a customer, imagine how they treat someone who walks into their store. I saw Rob after the race, but the gym was crowded with people and my family was waiting for me so I didn’t get a chance to ask him any questions. And since there are no race results, I can’t confirm that Scott was his real name or make an educated guess as to what Rob’s name might be (other than that is the name of one of the guys on the Gazelle Sports website).

• I’ll finish with one tip: be sure to eat before you run. That was my mistake I made when I first started running marathons (and halves) – I did not eat much breakfast, because everyone knows you are not supposed to eat and run. Think about it this way: you will burn through at least 1500 calories running a half-marathon (or 3000 calories for a full marathon). If you do not have a good amount of food in you, from where will those calories come? Answer: they won’t, and your body will try to shut down during the race because it doesn’t have enough energy to run.

  So if you’re wondering “Should I eat before a race?” the answer is “yes”. Don’t eat right before the race – I try to finish eating at least an hour before the race. For this half, I had about 2 scrambled eggs, 2 pieces of ham, a yogurt, a Nutri-Grain bar, a bowl of cereal, and half a banana. For a 5k, I’d allow more time between eating a running, probably more like 3 hours. And I wouldn’t eat as much.

That’s it for this race update. I’m sure you will be eagerly awaiting next month’s race update (sneak preview: I ran, I finished, I can still walk) (sneak preview is subject to change without notice).

It’s September, the start of the NFL season. Time for me to update my win-loss prediction page.

Here’s the link: 2012 NFL season predictions.

Here’s the summary: MYW is off to a good start; it went 12-4 for week 1. My other prediction methods (MPW and MPWLS) were 10-6. And the other methods (HTW, ITP, ITPLS, DP, and DPE (mostly borrowed from TMQ)) were all 9-7.

If you need straight-up win-loss predictions, all 8 methods agree that the Cardinals will lose to the Patriots in week 2.