Improving the Bird Cage

I was visiting a building that had a large bird cage in the lobby. Not a huge cage, but bigger than your average birdcage. I thought about how it would be nice for the birds to have some more room so they could fly a decent distance instead of just flitting back and forth.

You know those restaurants that have a model train circling the dining area? Usually above everyone’s heads? Our kids love those restaurants. I got to thinking about combining a bird cage with the concept of something encircling a room.

What if the bird cage circled the lobby? It would be like a track for birds. A long, circular cage would let them fly at top speeds.

I sketched up a prototype, although this one is too small. The poor bird would always be turning. And you’d have to teach him to alternate directions so that his wings would stay even.

circular bird cage so the bird can fly laps

But a cage that big would cost a lot.
And be a pain to install.
And be a bigger pain to clean.

So I came up with a better plan.

This one was inspired not by the average treadmill, but by those endless pools. You know, the individual-sized pool that lets you swim without travelling. Same concept as a treadmill, but for swimming instead of running. Apply that to flying, and you get…

The Birdmill

bird cage plus box fan for a flying treadmill

A compact way to house your pet and allow him to exercise to his heart’s content.

I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.

Psalm 55:6

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This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 6:20 am and has been carefully placed in the Ponder category.

One Response to “Improving the Bird Cage”

  1. Ricky Anderson Says:

    You’d have to put something behind the cage.

    Otherwise bird droppings would become bird flyings that splatter on the wall.

    Other than that – genius!

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