Some Blog Site

RIAA certifies numbers of albums sold and gives awards for various levels of achievement.

If an album sells more than …

• 500,000 copies, it is certified Gold.
• 1,000,000 copies, it is certified Platinum.
• 10,000,000 copies, it is certified Diamond.

What is the Christian equivalent to RIAA certification?

It’s not the GMA Dove Awards, as those are vote-driven not sales-driven.

The closest thing I found was the CMTA SoundScan, but you have to buy a subscription if you want to know the sales numbers. So I don’t know the Christian music sales numbers, nor do I know if there are awards at various stages of sales achievement.

The RIAA people don’t give awards that are explicitly Biblical. Christians need an equivalent to the worldly awards. There are Christian music associations, so why not more Christian awards?

Therefore, I propose a Biblical rating system for album sales. If an album sells more than …

• 200,000 copies, it is certified Gold.
• 500,000 copies, it is certified Frankincense.
• 1,000,000 copies, it is certified Myrrh.

Notice I made the numbers smaller too. That wasn’t done to be more Biblical; that was done so that musicians in the GMA/CMTA realm could make the cutoff.

I’ll keep you, loyal reader, updated if anything ever comes of my proposal.

Alpha has found a series of books at the library, and he’s gone through a few of them now.

It’s called Heroes A²Z, and I am not really reviewing the books so don’t assume that I’m recommending them here.

But I do really like the disclaimer. All works of fiction are required to have a disclaimer that says they are fictional. It is a fairly standard disclaimer and so it is very familiar. And familiarity breeds apathy, so I’m guessing that most people just skip the disclaimers.

What caught my eye with the first book (Alien Ice Cream) is that it was dedicated to the Captain, Steve Yzerman, and the story is set in Traverse City. Wanting to know more about the book, its author, and its publisher, I read the fine print at the beginning of the book.

I was amused at the disclaimer, which reads somewhat like this: “This book is fiction. The people, places, and events depicted within are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead or to real life places is purely coincidence and, in all honesty, probably a little disturbing.”

I even took pictures of the disclaimers for books 2, 3, and 6. Click on the pictures for larger versions.

After taking the pictures, I noticed that I am forbidden from repeating that disclaimer to you. “No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part …”

Do you like the irony of the previous paragraph?

In theory, that means I couldn’t even post the title of the book. Also in theory, I couldn’t use the number 26. Because there is a page 26 in the Heroes A²Z book, and it has the characters “26” on that page.

So I must turn off the engineer part of my brain and the blogger part of my brain will assume fair use. There must be some reasonable interpretation of the ban on reproducing the contents of the book. Otherwise, I might be afraid to read the book aloud to my kids.

Are the copyright and other legal notices considered part of the copyrighted work?

There are various ways for a stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home dad to earn extra income, or at least try to. One of the more popular ways is the Independent Consultant.

The independent consultant sells a company’s goods via home shows – get someone to host a party and the IC demonstrates the products and takes orders.

It started with Tupperware, at least in my recollection.

Then along came Pampered Chef.

Then Creative Memories.

Then the snowball started getting out of control – Usborne Books, Lia Sophia, Close to My Heart, Southern Living at Home, Uppercase Living, and various other candle, lotion, perfume, and home goods companies.

The array of choices is so overwhelming that I think it needs some organizing. What if someone is interested in becoming an independent consultant but doesn’t know where to begin or what companies or products there are?

I propose a new home-show-based business: Meta Consultants.

The Meta Consultant (or Consultant Consultant) would be an independent consultant whose job would be to advise people about being an independent consultant. She would go into someone’s house for a home show and describe to the attendees the various companies and products there are to sell.

I’m sure there would be food and games involved too.

The Meta Consultant would not sell any products herself – she would get a commission based on how many people sign up to be consultants (or book new home shows).

I don’t have the details of where the company would get money to pay commissions, since no one is selling any products. But we’re in a service-based economy now, right? And we’re selling services instead of products now, right? So the money will come from somewhere, somehow.

And that’s why I’m typing this as a blog post and not as a business plan.

In a way, AOL was ahead of its time.

What’s the difference between Facebook now and AOL back in its day?

Connect with friends, send them things, play games, etc. Facebook, the new AOL. Or AOL, the original Facebook.

The same with Twitter. That’s just AIM revisited. Come to think of it, AIM in its day was about as big as Twitter is now.

The first difference is that AOL provided the internet connection and the services. FB/Twitter just provide the services. AOL had people paying to use their services and they still went under somehow. Once people had options other than dial-up, they didn’t need AOL for the internet connection and the services were an exclusive club – only for those with a subscription.

The other major difference is cell phones – the whole mobile platform. AOL was there for the initial wave of internet popularity, but they peaked then and didn’t recover in order to take advantage of the second wave of smart phones and iPods.

I don’t have a horse in the race, so I don’t care if Facebook and Twitter stick around or fade away. I think the latter is more likely. They, like AOL/AIM, will fade away and then some upstart company will produce a service with a slightly different twist that will be hugely popular for a while.

And repeat.

Inspired by Beck (and with apologies to Arnold S. Lobel), I wondered what Frog and Toad’s relationship would be like if they had Facebook.

I have taken the liberties in updating the Frog and Toad story to today’s society. Thus, the story ends a little more abruptly than it does in the book.

My suggestion to FB is that they should not let you unfriend someone so easily. If you do say you want to unfriend someone, FB should tell you to talk to them and work out whatever is bothering you. A cooling-off period, perhaps.

Likewise, FB should have different levels. Right now, everyone is a friend. You shouldn’t be able to call someone a Friend so easily. You should have Acquaintances and Friends – two different categories. Acquaintances could come and go, but Friends could not.

Of course, I’m not a FB user, so I won’t notice if they change their friending policies. But I do hope that people don’t treat other people the same way in real life as they do on Facebook. Because the friends in Facebook are just names on the computer screen, not real people, right?

Wandering through the store the other day, I saw that Star Wars has licensed its name to a number of science kits. The one that first caught my eye was the Jedi mind-reading device (they call it the Force Trainer), but I also noticed the Darth Vader mechanical arm.

It’s just like the old Armatron that Radio Shack used to sell. Change the color, slap a Star Wars badge on it, and suddenly it’s popular again.

My favorite part about the mechanical arm is the warning:

MANUFACTURER’S SAFETY CAUTIONS AND WARNINGS

Of course it’s a choking hazard. Have they not seen what Darth Vader does with his arm? How he treats enemies or underlings who displease him?

Watch the movie again and you won’t even want to get close to this toy. It’s not just that the hand could grab someone’s neck and be a choking hazard that way. I mean, if this is Darth Vader’s arm like it claims, you could just point the hand in someone’s direction and, by using the Force that you’ve honed using the Force Trainer, choke a person from across the room.

Darth Vader’s arm is not a friendly thing. Be very careful if you purchase this toy.

The rest of the warning states that it is a choking hazard due to small parts. However, I think you may want to watch out for the other choking possibilities too, if you have this toy.

Alpha had his school Christmas holiday program. While we were walking to the cafeteria/auditorium/cafetorium, we passed by display cases containing artwork from the various classes. I don’t know which grades did these turkeys, but apparently a number of students were handed line-drawing turkeys which they were supposed to color or otherwise decorate.

I wish I knew the story behind this.

• Did the child happen to glance at the stack of magazines in the art room, see Obama’s photo, and just decide that he would look good on a turkey?
• Did the child purposely put Obama’s head on a turkey body as a statement of how poorly he thought the government was being run?
• Or was the child thankful for Obama and trying to indicate that by associating him with Thanksgiving?
• Is the small picture to the right of Obama’s head a picture of a turkey with Obama’s head on it? Was that the inspiration for this art? From where did that come?

The world may never know.

I find the most interesting part to be the bicycle handlebars. Why a bicycle? Shouldn’t he be holding onto the handlebars? So many questions . . .