Some Blog Site

This one’s a little longer than usual, but these puns required a bit more setup.
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Transcript:
(Two reporters on TV)
A: Welcome to another edition of the Feud Network Challenge.
B: We’re in the village of Great Barton for their annual Tall Pub Competition.

A: That’s right, every year the citizens here have 5 days to construct temporary pubs. The pub that can serve the judges at the highest altitude wins the prize.
B: You can say they’re really raising the bar here!

Narrator: The meals for the judges must be prepared at the same height that they are served. This year, the requirement is a T-bone or porterhouse for the main dish.

A: And what’s more, the prize money has been doubled from last year.
B: Yes – the steaks have never been higher!

A: This just in – the rules committee is deciding on a change. The competition, with the buildings partially constructed, is postponed indefinitely.
B: Oh no! This means things will be up in the air for a while.

A: Ow! My stomach hurts!
B: What was the last thing you ate?

A: The only thing I’ve had recently was an awful breath mint after drinking something out of that cask over there.
B: We’ll have to cut the show short today. My co-host is suffering from some horrible ale mint.

Everyone seems to focusing on the interchange between Harbaugh and Schwartz this past weekend. But there was also a humorous exchange between Justin Verlander of the Tigers and Yovani Gallardo of the Brewers.

Most people missed that one, but Some Blog Site has exclusive footage of their conversation.

Transcript:
Verlander: So, did your team make the World Series?
Gallardo: No!
Verlander: Oh well…
Verlander: Batter luck next year!

That’s probably going to be a problem in his line of work.

Transcript:
(President Obama is speaking in front of a flag)
“My administration will be the most open, honest, and accountable government ever.”
“I’ll make our government open and transparent, starting with me.”
(staring)
“See?”
“Am I making myself clear?”

Transcript:
Worker: Boss, we have a problem!
Boss: What is it?
Worker: The new maps were printed without the Far East!
Boss: Now all our customers are going to be disoriented.
Boss: Did someone do this on purpose?
Worker: No sir, it was an Occident.

No explanation needed for this one:

cat + apostrophe = catastrophe

I haven’t seen the new Smurfs movie, nor do I intend to see it. Some reviews say it’s okay, some say it’s bad, but I don’t know of anyone who thinks it’s a great movie. Maybe if you have a couple hours to kill and some money to burn… But even then I could think of a lot of other things to do instead.

Regardless of what you think of the movie, you might be interested to know that I was talking with Gargamel and got an old family recipe from him. In the spirit of sharingness, here it is.

Recipe for Smorfs

1 graham cracker
1/2 chocolate bar
1 Smurf

Roast the Smurf lightly over an open flame, being careful not to let him catch on fire. Break the graham cracker in half. Place the chocolate on one piece of the graham cracker. Then place the Smurf on the chocolate. Finally, cover the Smurf with the remaining piece of graham cracker. Enjoy with a glass of milk.